A Watcher's Wardrobe Guide
by reluctantreader
Summary: If eyes are the gateway to the soul, then clothes are the windows to emotion. Jasper's watched Bella long enough to know how she feels simply by the outfit she wears for the day. Will he finally put his theories to the test? AU/AH/rated for language
1. I hate that sweater

_**Author's Note:**_ Something that's been rolling around in my head for a few days. Sorry it isn't a MIAIS update, but it was just there trying to get out. Expect to see a bunch of new stories from me in the immediate future, like within two weeks there should be about two one-shots and another multi-chap up. I'm working on being validated on Twilighted so that's taking too much time. Oh, and I have a contest I'm hosting called Bathed In Black. It's a Jacob contest. Hit up my profile to get all the deets.

Well enough about me, let me know if you want more of this. I have a lot more ideas for it, but I'm not sure of the structure I want to update. Enjoy.

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like them human.

* * *

It's the last class of the day, the first day of the school year.

She's wearing a green sweater today. She must be in a bad mood.

It's ugly on her, but she still looks good. It's too big and baggy; the sleeves are bunched up at her elbows.

I think she's doodling something instead of taking notes, like we're supposed to be doing. I can tell because her other hand is twirling a chunk of her long, dark brown hair. She always does that when she's not paying attention. I know this because I'd gotten to know her really well last year, even though she doesn't know me at all. Well, not so much gotten to know her as much as I had just…watched her.

Now I feel like a stupid stalker or something. At least it was only at school…and the hand full of times I saw her around town. She didn't see me though. So yea, I really feel like a creepy stalker.

I sigh and get back to taking notes because I'm supposed to. The teacher's talking about cells or something. It's boring and I want to look at her again, so I do.

I want to groan. She's biting on the end of her pen. It's really hot in here suddenly.

And now I'm sporting a chubby. It's my third one of the day.

Six classes and she's in half of them.

I've cursed this town for tons of reasons – being too small, never having anything cool going on, for having such a stupid name – but I think the being too small thing is the worst, in this case anyway. If it weren't so fucking small, she wouldn't be every where I turn.

I think I understand that "a blessing and a curse" statement more now.

It's going to be a long fucking year, and it's only the beginning.

**!~!**

She must be feeling grown up today; she's wearing her red blouse with tight jeans. Her hair's even in a severe ponytail. From this angle I can tell she has some eyeliner and a bit of mascara on too.

Yea, she's all business. I wonder what's changed since yesterday; why she's so Gung Ho today.

The blackboard says we'll have a quiz on this material next Friday.

I should tell her she doesn't need to worry, she'll do fine.

I should tell her she's smarter than she realizes.

While I'm at it, I should tell her she doesn't need to wear make-up either; she's pretty without it.

Her brown eyes catch mine and I immediately drop my head to my worksheet.

I feel like she just read my thoughts. I can feel warmth creep up my cheeks. This is embarrassing…

…but not as embarrassing as what is happening in my pants right now…

I raise my hand to get the teacher's attention.

"Yes?" At least he doesn't sound pissed off.

"May I go to the bathroom?" My voice wants to crack, but I work hard to keep it under control. I'm a senior this year, eighteen years old; I refuse to sound like a preteen dweeb, even if I'm dangerously close to coming in my pants from a girl looking at me.

She's not just _a_ girl though; she's _the_ girl: Bella Swan.

My blood starts pounding and I feel like a pussy. It's even worse now that I can feel a flush creeping over my face again. I must have a lot of blood because my pants situation isn't getting any better with my blood re-dispersing.

The teacher looks like he's not going to let me go. He's obviously more annoyed than I thought. He finally relents a second later though. My hand is still raised and I feel like an idiot. I stealthily cover bringing it down by coughing and stand to leave.

I brush past the teacher, taking all of my stuff with me. I might be in there for a while and we don't have that long left until the final bell anyway.

Plus, I need my books to cover my issue.

"Make sure you're back to pick up the homework assignment, Mr. Whitlock."

"Whatever." I say it loud enough for the class to hear as I exit because I'm a guy and I'm supposed to be nonchalant and cool.

I feel like a pussy the entire time I rub one out in the boys bathroom stall.

Yea, it's going to be a long fucking year.

* * *

**_A/N:_** Are you intrigued? I'd love to hear what you think, blue review button please!

~Tay


	2. Happy is a good color

_**Author's Note:**_ Figured I'd just put this out since it seems these chapters will be kind of short. I really don't know how long we'll go on this ride together, but I can honestly tell you that I do have a plot in mind. *gasp* shocking, I know! I just need y'all to see that Jazzy pays attention; we're solidifying a relationship here - as stalkerish as that relationship might be. Enjoy.

~Tay

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like her characters to stalk in human form.

* * *

It's Thursday, the third day of senior year.

It's the third day this school year of watching Bella. The third class I have with her.

My last class of the day is the easiest to observe her; its science class. Fucking boring stuff; she's far more interesting.

She has a yellow cardigan on today. I've never seen her in a color so bright. It adds a weird glow to her cheeks, bringing out the pink tints in them. It makes her look really pretty, but that's nothing new.

It's warmer today. It makes me wish we lived in a sunny place. Bella's hair has natural red hues in it; I can see them gleaming from the light streaming in through the window.

She wore her hair down today. It's wavy and pretty, almost touching her ass.

Speaking of her ass, she's also wearing little white shorts.

They should be illegal.

Her dad's the chief of police, for Christ's sake. He shouldn't have let her out of the house in them; he should have confiscated them.

Her legs look so nice. They're lean and creamy and I swear they're glistening. It must be from a new sparkly moisturizer. I'll need to pay closer attention.

From the yellow top I know she must be in a cheery mood, but she must be feeling confident too. I can tell because she's wearing pale yellow wedge-heeled flip flops. They have a bit of a platform on them.

I've watched Bella enough to know she isn't the most coordinated. Anyone would know that though. I'm the only one that realizes that it really bothers her though. Everyone sees her blush after a little tumble and just snickers at her. They never see her face scrunch up, as if she's chastising herself for being so clumsy.

Those are the times I wish I could talk to her the most. Those are the times I wish we were friends.

But I just watch her.

I'm no pussy – it's not like I'm afraid to talk to her or anything – I just rather not.

I've worked hard to be who everyone perceives me as, and Bella Swan gets me too caught up. It wouldn't look good stumbling and blushing all over the place.

I'm a dude; there are certain rules we follow.

"Mr. Whitlock?" Fucking teacher, he knows I'm not paying attention.

"Yea?"

"The answer to number six, please."

I pause for effect. "I don't know." I make a show of stretching out at my desk. I need to look as relaxed as possible because I'm supposed to be.

He sighs. "The nucleus, Jasper."

"Whatever." I scribble on my paper as if I'm doodling, but I write the answer to number six down with stars next to it. I can't let that shit happen again.

**!~!**

Day four: Bella misses her mom.

She's wearing a dark brown tank top with khaki pedal pushers. The thin white sweatshirt doesn't cover up her feelings. She always wears brown when she's missing Renee.

I know her mom's name from accidentally/on purpose overhearing a conversation between her and Kate last year. It had been in the lunch room the day before the winter dance. The girls were surprisingly loud; I know Bella likes to keep to herself.

Kate had asked her if she had a date yet. Bella had said she didn't.

Kate had asked her if she was even going to the dance at all. Bella had said she didn't "do dancing."

At that moment I decided I didn't "do dancing" either.

Kate had asked her what she was going to do instead of going to the dance. Bella had told her that she wouldn't even be in town, she'd be in Phoenix; she was "going to visit Renee. I mean, my mom."

I always memorized what she had to say.

She had been wearing brown a lot that week. It was the first time I had noticed the significance of that color. Thankfully, it doesn't show up often.

I see Bella's feet shuffle out of the corner of my eye. I want to look at her full on so badly, but I'm pretty sure I'd get caught.

I've been playing this little game long enough to know when to duck my head. I've only been caught a few times, even less of those times were actually by Bella herself though.

I peek at her anyway because I think I hear her sigh. She's looking out of the window.

I hope she gets to visit her mom soon.

* * *

**_A/N:_** Sorry its so short, but it's 2:30AM on the east coast and I really have to get to bed. Thank you to all of you whom have already alerted and favored this story. I promise to get these updates out at least once a week, I hope ;) Blue buttons are loved.

~Tay


	3. She's totally not a partier

**_Author's Note:_** *gasp!* What? Three updates in less than twenty-four hours? That's unheard of! *snort* Whatever, you guys know I can't resist once I get an idea in my head. I beat it out until the well runs dry. I'll see this one through though because this Jasper has a special place in my heart already. I hope you enjoy.

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like when they drink under-aged.

* * *

It's the first weekend of the school year and there's already a party. I guess I'm the only one that couldn't wait for school to re-start. Everyone wanted the summer to last forever.

The summer's overrated.

The party is at Alec's house over in the woods. It'll probably be good since the chief's less likely to show up all the way out there.

The only down side is that if you drink than you stay. If the party's lame – as in Bella doesn't show up – then there's no point in staying, so I'll be sober until she shows up.

If she shows up.

I'm on my second bottle of water by the time I see her. She's here with Kachiri and Sasha.

They're definitely a wet dream trifecta. Kachiri's a cute little black girl. She has a decent rack and a huge ass. Her face is sexy in an exotic kind of way. Sasha's the opposite; tall, blond, giant rack, no ass at all. Bella's the perfect balance of the two. She easily outshines either girl.

Her friends must have dressed her tonight. She's wearing jeans that look like a second skin. They must be the kind that is actually leggings with denim designs. Her black sweater is a V-neck that plunges impossibly low. I don't know if she's wearing a bra under it.

My cock takes notice.

Bella wraps her arms across her body and now I'm certain the girls dressed her. She's completely uncomfortable in that outfit. To anyone else, it looks like she's bored and doesn't want to be here. She probably is, but still, she'd be happier in regular jeans and a t-shirt.

I'm disappointed in Kachiri and Sasha. They're her best friends; they shouldn't force her to wear what she doesn't want to.

I'm also disappointed because I can't totally get a read on how she's really feeling.

"What're you looking at, man?" Liam bumps my shoulder. I didn't even know he was here.

I take a sip of water before answering because it'll make it seem like I couldn't care less. "The Sex Sisters." It's a stupid name I despise, but at least he'll know who I mean.

"Yea. Bella really filled out this summer." I want to punch him in the face until I'm covered in his blood.

I have to shift focus before I become a fugitive. "Kachiri's ass got fatter."

It works. "Fuck yea, it did." He claps my shoulder again and goes towards the kitchen.

I see Liam reemerge a minute or two later with three cans of beer. I release a puff of air I didn't realize I was holding when all three girls take a can.

If they're drinking then they're staying.

I still don't get a beer for myself until I've seen all three of them take sips.

I settle into the couch and watch as Liam leads Kachiri out back. They'll be gone for a while. Sasha goes to the basement with Peter a short while later and I curse Bella's friends again. Don't girls have some "No woman left behind" rule or some bullshit? They're slacking on their responsibilities.

Pretty much every guy in this house wants one of the Sex Sisters. It doesn't matter that all three are virgins; it's all apart of the appeal. Everyone knows they'll do other stuff. Well, two out of the three do other stuff; Bella's still completely pure. I'm not the only one who knows that though.

I sit back and watch her.

I watch as she gets more beer. Twice.

I watch as she tries to cover her chest.

I watch as she goes to the basement.

I watch as she comes running up from the basement. She didn't know that's where everyone smokes. She's too smart to get mixed up in all of that.

I watch as she sits on the chair across from me. She doesn't see me though; she's too busy being uncomfortable.

I stand up and get another beer. When I come back, Kate's talking to Bella.

"Are you going to Garrett's party next week?" I think Kate smiles bigger as she says this. I'll have to let Garrett know.

Bella chews her lip before she answers. "Who'll be there?"

"Everyone, duh!" Kate rolls her eyes and I don't like it.

"Well, who's everyone?" Bella gives as good as she gets. I think she sucks her teeth a little too. I want to laugh in Kate's face.

"Well, Garrett – obviously – and his whole crew." Bella rolls her eyes and Kate continues. "You know who I mean! Randall, Alec, Peter…"

Bella cuts her off. "Will any girls be at this party?"

"Of course, you know Charlotte will definitely be there. She'll probably bring Maggie and Tia, too. Makkena's coming and bringing some of her friends from The Port."

Bella seems to be thinking it over. I haven't hung with Garrett and Peter in a long time, but I'll make an exception if Bella wants to go.

Kate huffs and turns to me. "You're going to be there too, right Jasper?"

I see Bella stiffen; I hope that's not a bad sign.

I sigh big and stretch lazily. "I don't know." I take a sip of beer to help me pause for effect. "Maybe."

Kate obviously doesn't like my noncommittal answer. "Whatever. You know you and the boys will totally be there."

I just shrug because she's right; me, Carlisle, Alec, and Ben will most definitely be there. But we're guys, so acting like it's no big deal is key.

"Come on, Bella!" Kate bounces her knees a little bit. "You know you want to."

"Fine." Bella's a people pleaser.

I take another drink of my beer to hide my smile.

"You guys want another drink?" Garrett comes up baring more alcohol.

"Nah, I'm not staying tonight." I'm sure Kate's really regretting that choice now. I wonder if Garrett knows.

"Bummer." He's frowning so I guess he does.

"Could you give me a ride home Kate? I'm not really up for this tonight." I should have known Bella would find a way to leave.

"Yea, sure; no problem. See you guys next weekend." Kate waves as both girls leave.

Garrett plops down on the couch next to me with a huff. He hands me a few of the beers and runs a hand through his hair. It's almost as long as mine now. "Dude."

"Yea." I know exactly what he means. These girls get us too caught up.

We drink until we pass out.

* * *

**_A/N:_** I hope this helps with those of you who are still on the fence about this story. The chapter's still short, but I like it this way. *shrug* if they're too long, I feel like I'll never get them written and they get left behind. Blue buttons tell it like it is.

~Tay


	4. I live by Bro Code

_**Author's Note:**_ I'm so grateful that so many of you are enjoying this, I couldn't wait a freaking week! I'm really having a blast as well. This is my first story with a real plot and I have to admit that it's tough to not just skip ahead to where I want this to go. This chapter is a bit longer than the others, but that's because there is "Man dialogue" You'll see what I mean by that. Basically, if you see something in italics, it's the translation of silent man gestures. Y'all know what I'm talking about! That silent communication shit guys always seem to know the meaning behind. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, but I like to make her characters into real teen aged boys. None of that "Frozen in Time" bullshit.

* * *

The second week of school is boring and uneventful. Bella wears simple t-shirt and jeans combinations.

She wears a gray crew-neck shirt on Monday. I think she had high expectations for the week. It makes me wonder what she's looking forward to.

Tuesday and Wednesday she wears band shirts: A white Modest Mouse shirt and a pale blue Beatles tee.

It rains all day Thursday so I don't get a chance to see what's under her gray and gold Forks High Spartans sweatshirt.

Friday's the best day because there's an unexpected storm. Bella wears a plain white t-shirt…

…and a purple lace bra.

I watch her in all three classes that day.

But I can't think about that right now. It's Saturday and I'm in a car with my three bros on our way to Garrett's house for the party. It wouldn't look good to suddenly get a stiffy with no chicks around. The guys would either look at me funny or tease the shit out of me.

Neither of those options makes me look cool, so they're unacceptable.

Carlisle stops the car in front of a gated community. Garrett's house is close enough to the entrance that he sees us arrive. The buzzer goes off and the gate clambers open. It's loud as shit and I have to pop my ears once we start pulling through.

"You'd think with all the fucking money they pay to fucking live here, they could afford some fucking WD-40," Alec complains from the back seat. That's Alec – always the excessive swearer.

"Yea." I guess Ben agrees. At least he's a mellower guy. I'm going to need him to help me stay level if Bella shows up.

"Well at least we know the cops won't show up. Nobody wants to deal with these bolshie people." Carlisle always makes a good point, so I let him know I have his back:

"Yea."

Alec gets the point to stop his pussy bitching. "Whatever."

Carlisle pulls into the driveway and parks the car. No one wants to look over eager so we stay inside for a while. Ben's drumming his fingers on the back of my seat, quietly humming some song. Alec's stewing while looking out of the window. Carlisle's looking at me.

"What's up?"

He looks nervous. "I'm meeting a girl inside."

I'm happy for him, but pissed off at the same time; it better not be Bella. "Oh yea?" I think I remember him mentioning a chick from The Port he was interested in a few weeks ago. "Same chick?"

"Yea." Good.

Alec's not done being a bitch. "You tap it yet?" But it is a valid question.

We all look, waiting for the answer.

"Damn right I did." He looks all triumphant.

I know he's lying, but he's my bro so I'm not going to blow up his spot. Instead, I smile and give him a fist bump, like I'm supposed to.

We all exit the car a little happier now. We're basking in the glow of one of our fellow brethren getting his rocks off.

If one of us gets laid, it's like we all got laid.

It's a guy thing.

It's just after nine at night so the party's just getting started when we enter. Despite the early start, the place is packed. That's a fete in and of itself considering Garrett's house is one half-bath sort of being a mansion.

We walk straight through the mass of people to the back. Across the yard the keg's easy to spot, and Garrett's even easier with Kate hanging off of his arm.

I raise my eyebrows and give him a head nod. _You with her for real?_

He tips his bottled beer towards me and dips his chin. _Yea, man!_

I smile really small and shake my head a little. _Well played, congrats._

He smirks with a cocked eyebrow. _Thanks._

I get a beer from the keg and down it before getting another immediately after. Carlisle's tense and scanning the party looking for his girl. He must see her because he relaxes and turns to me with a smile.

"She's here."

Shit. He's so caught up in this girl. "Oh yea?" I look around and have no idea which girl he's talking about; there are tons of groups of them everywhere. "Which one?"

His head jerks to the side. "The one with the orangey-brown hair."

I see her with six other girls. They're all giggling and looking over at us. I look at my friends and they're looking anywhere but at the girls; they're playing it cool like guys are supposed to.

I follow their example because they're my friends. "Cool."

The girl comes over with a few friends. "Um, Carlisle?" She looks so shy. She's pretty too: big green eyes, nice rack, thin waist with wide hips, and pink lipsticked lips, ready for kissing. Carlisle's done well for himself.

He pauses a long second before looking at her. "What's up, Es?" He drapes an arm over her shoulders.

She blushes and covers her bottom lip with her finger tips. "Nothing much." She looks at all of our faces. "Hi, I'm Esme." She does an awkward little wave and flourishes. "These are my friends Victoria and Dee." Her two friends have nothing on her in the looks department; Victoria's a fire-crotch with pimples mixed in with her billions of freckles, and Dee just looks too whorish: blue eyeshadow and red lipstick in a black pleather mini skirt that's two sizes two small.

"Hey." All us guys say the same thing – but not at the exact same time – and go back to drinking without introducing ourselves; we're not impressed.

Ben and Alec start talking about our school football team. The team sucks this year so I look at Esme's friends. She only brought two over with her, but the others aren't far behind. Soon the group is seven to four; the girls outnumber us.

It makes us look like pimps. I like it.

Well, I like it until I see Bella walk through the door. I don't want her to think I'm some player, but I want her to know that I like girls, but I can't let her know that she's the only girl I want to be around. It's all very intricate.

As she scans the party for a familiar face, her eyes catch mine. My lips are traitors; I smile at her. I can't tell if she smiles back because my view is cut off by Kachiri and Sasha. I didn't know the rest of the Sex Sisters were coming, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised; girls party in packs.

They make their way to the keg and I take the time to look Bella over. I really hope she dressed herself tonight because her outfit screams confidence. It's a black strapless dress with ruffles. It's short too, but without being overly slutty. She dressed it down by letting her big wavy curls fall down her back and her toes are poking out of plain black flip flops. She looks fucking cute as hell.

When the girls reach the keg, Garrett pours them each a beer. He fills Bella's until it's almost spilling over. I'm not too drunk to catch his slight nod:

_She's all yours, man._

I gulp down the rest of my beer and mumble to the guys that I'm empty. I tilt the empty cup towards Garrett_. Don't let her leave 'til I get there._

He nods back. _No problem_.

I make my way over to her. It's now or never.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Sorry I didn't let them talk yet. I told you guys I wanted to keep these chapters short. If they start to run away from me then I'll never get to where I want to be. As most of my subscribers know I'm usually wordy as hell, so this story is a challenge to myself to try to keep everything clipped. Either way, I hope you like it.

Ps - you like my boys? how about Esme? She's a cutie. Blue buttons tell no lies.

~Tay


	5. It's harder up close

_**Author's Note:**_ Are we finally going to have a conversation here? I think yes! Hope this makes sense; I tried to keep it short, but Jasper was too nervous and talked a bit more than usual. You'll see what I mean. Plus, you get some Esme. She's incredible. Enjoy.

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. If I owned it, I'd have worked the contracts out so that all the boys - and Carlisle - would have to be at my beck and call, twenty-four/seven...topless. (and maybe bottomless too)

* * *

I take a few deep breaths as I walk over to Bella. The crowd is thickest over here by the keg, but I don't get bumped around too much.

As I get closer, I notice Kachiri and Sasha are already gone. I want to be pissed that they abandoned their friend again, but the less people around the better. This girl has me too caught up and I don't need witnesses if I end up looking like a joker.

Garrett starts to leads Kate away, talking about showing her something in the house. I hate Kate a little bit when she invites Bella along. To Kate's credit, she's being a better friend than Sasha and Kachiri for not just leaving Bella here alone, but that's not the point. I finally want to talk to her and Kate's fucking up my plans.

Garrett saves the day though. "I just want to talk to you alone for a bit." He says it real low in her ear and Kate blushes.

Bella hears it too and looks away to give them some privacy. Even in the dimness of the night I can see her blush. It makes her look cuter, if that's even possible.

Garrett winks at me as they depart. _Good luck._

I nod back. _Thanks, man_.

Kate looks too glassy eyed to even notice me and Bella's still fighting to tame her blush.

I take Garrett's place behind the keg and start to pump myself a new drink. I know what I'm doing, but I take my time and keep my head down. When my cup's half way full, I steal myself to finally talk to her and look up.

She's staring at me. It catches me off guard.

I don't want to fuck this up so I opt to do the simple guy thing. "Hey."

"Hey." Her voice is a lot softer than it is in school. I'm sure it's because we're in a vast open yard, but I want it to be because she's just as nervous as I am. I'm not stupid enough to believe the latter though.

The problem with my simple greeting is that it doesn't leave room for more conversation.

I'm totally fucked.

I twist my neck to get my dark blond bangs out of my face. I know girls like my hair for whatever reason. It's kind of long in a shaggy way and even though I thought about cutting it for the new school year, I'm glad I didn't because I use the head flick motion to scan the yard for help.

Alec and Ben are still bullshitting about something or other, but I see Ben making eyes at one of the girls Esme brought from The Port. These fucking females are making us crazy.

Thankfully Carlisle tips back the rest of his drink and sees me by the keg.

I tilt my chin up. _Come here_.

He furrows his brows for a second. _What's up?_

I shake my head slightly. _Just get over here, man_.

His arm wraps around Esme's waist. _Can I bring my girl?_

I look down and shrug as small as possible. _Whatever_. It'll probably be good to have another girl here as a buffer. Girls always feel more comfortable with their own kind.

Carlisle gets to us quickly and I try not to sigh in relief.

"Hey, Bella, how's it going?" Carlisle's always been easy going. I'm completely envious.

She smiles softly at him. "I'm doing well, and I can see that you are too." She pointedly looks at the grinning Esme by his side.

I'm surprised his face doesn't crack, he smiles so hard. "Bella, this is my girl, Esme." He immediately stiffens. I don't think he meant to say she was his girl out loud.

Esme's smile rivals his though and she sticks out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Bella. I'm Esme Platt. I go to East Bay High over in The Port."

Bella shakes Esme's hand, but then shakes a fist in the air in mock indignation. "East Bay, huh? Damn you Loggers and you're victory last night. I'm embarrassed to let you know that I'm a Spartan, after the butt kicking your football team handed us."

Carlisle quirks an eyebrow at me and I do the same back to him. I know what he means; I had no idea she followed our sorry ass team.

Both the girls laugh and the sound goes straight to my groin. Carlisle tightens his grip on Esme and I take a step closer to Bella; I don't want him to think I'm making plays at his girl.

Bella notices the step and stops laughing. She drops her head down, but I can't tell if she's doing it to hide a blush. It's surprisingly harder to watch her from this close.

Carlisle looks at Bella and clears his throat. "Esme's school is having a victory picnic tomorrow afternoon. You should come." It's meant for both Bella and I, but he looks at me when he says the last part.

I nod. _If she's going then I'll totally be there_. I think Esme catches me because she looks between me and Carlisle while Bella's head is still down.

Bella looks up and she's chewing her bottom lip. I know that means she's actually thinking about going. "I wouldn't want to ruin your date or anything."

Esme quickly assures her. "Oh, no! It's more of a hang out. There'll be games and food and music." She looks at me then continues. "A few of Carlisle's friends will be there and my whole school will probably show up so…" She trails off looking at Bella again.

I think Bella peeks at me from under her lashes. "Sure, sounds like fun." I try to look as bored as possible.

"Cool." Carlisle's better at this than I am. "Give me your number so we can get a ride situation figured out."

I see red. I want to see his body bled and broken.

Esme saves Carlisle from the beating of a lifetime. "Your phone is in my purse in the coat room, Carlisle." She's staring at him funny. I think she's trying to tell him something. A peek at Bella lets me know that I'm on to something here. Carlisle looks at her like she's crazy, but she continues talking looking between Bella and I. "Why don't you take her number, Jasper." It's not a question. "Carlisle's coming early to hang out so you three can ride together, right?" Esme looks so hopeful. I think she bats her lashes at Bella. She's good.

"Um…" Bella's looking up at me and she's biting her lower lip again. I hope that it means what I think it means. "S-sure." She nods, determined. "Yea, that's cool."

I want to do a happy dance. I sip my beer and nod instead. I also try again to look as bored as possible.

"That's word." I pull my phone out and hand it to her so she can plug in her number. I make sure my hand touches hers during the exchange. Her skin is soft and warm.

My dick goes from six to midnight. I retract my hand and shove it deep in my pocket.

While Bella's busy plugging her number into my phone, I look at Esme. She winks at me. I smile really small. Carlisle catches my eye and I bob my head a few times while drinking my beer. _She's cool. Congrats, man_.

He tightens his grip around her waist and kisses her temple with his eyes closed. _Yea_.

Bella sighs when she's finished and hands me my phone. "What time will you call me tomorrow?" She's staring straight at me. Her eyes are as big as a doe's.

I want to say I'll call her as soon as she'll let me.

I want to say I'll call her tonight.

I want to say that I've wanted to call her since she moved here last year.

I want to say everything, plus more.

I'm a coward though, so I just shrug instead.

Esme interjects. "Well, the picnic starts at two, so Carlisle's coming to my house around twelve so we can hang out before. Is that cool?" She looks at all three of us questioningly, but I don't think she's really asking.

Carlisle and I nod while Bella says, "Cool."

"Alright then! I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Esme leans into Carlisle's side and he nods before they leave, throwing a "later" over his shoulder. I never got him his refill, but they disappear into the house anyway.

I keep staring at the empty space long after they've gone. The silence between Bella and I is deafening.

"So, are you picking me up on the way to Carlisle's?" She sounds so bold. I look at her to see if anything's changed in the last two minutes.

She looks the same – beautiful as ever. "Yea." Shit! These simple answers don't do anything to keep the conversation going, but I swear my voice will crack if I keep talking. I risk it anyway. "I'll come by your house, say ten thirty?" My voice stays even.

She's biting her lip again and she nods. "Y-yea, I'll be ready."

I want to know why she's stuttering. She only does it if she's really embarrassed. What am I doing to make her uncomfortable?

Kachiri approaches. "Hey B, we're getting out of here soon to grab some grub. You game?" She looks between me and Bella before settling her gaze onto her friend. Bella immediately drops her head.

"Um, y-yea. T-that's cool, I guess." They leave with Kachiri whispering in Bella's ear. Both girls look back at me over their shoulders.

Bella does it twice.

I try to look as bored as possible, but it's tough as shit while I'm smiling on the inside. She agreed to spend an hour in a car with me tomorrow – with Carlisle present, but I'm overlooking that for now. Plus, she's letting me pick her up to drive the fifteen minutes to his house. I hope it's a good sign. I'm fucking giddy either way.

I wonder if I could get away with calling her to confirm.

I wonder if texting her would be too bold.

I wonder if she's as excited as I am.

I wonder what she'll wear tomorrow.

* * *

**_A/N:_** There's a lot of blushing and stammering in there! What does it mean! I wonder what Bella will wear tomorrow as well! Hmmm, we'll see. I'm definitely going to keep to the weekly updates, I think. I feel like if I do this correctly, I may even get to post some teasers somewhere. And not only would that be fun, but it'll keep me writing so I won't leave you hanging. Oh, and BTW, this is Romance AND Drama, so I can promise you, it won't be super angsty, but this shit isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows either. You've been warned.

Do you like my pushy Esme? I think I like her a lot actually. Blue review buttons give bitch-brows.

~Tay

P.s. - I don't usually rec things, but check out "**We Were Here**" by **sweetlolapop**. It's here on FFn and it's only a few chapters in as well, but she's incredible. It's a B&E story, but it's great. Popular turned social pariah Bella gets with reclusive and mysterious Edward. He lives in a world of graffiti, arrest records, few friends and fewer words. Edward's brilliant and deep and I like her Esme too, but I'll give nothing away! Just go read it.


	6. Shitty cars are great

_**Author's Note:**_ Well, I've decided to say "Fuck It!" when it comes to chapter length. I know, walking contradiction over here. I came to realize while writing this chapter that length isn't as important as content. Plus, I didn't want to have like, six chapters revolving around only one day. Anyway, the word count for this is almost triple what some of the others are and we've made some real progress. Well, you'll see what I mean by that. The drama has been starved off until a later chapter. I didn't have it in me to ruin everything before it even started. Enjoy!

This chapter is dedicated to a lovely loyal reviewer by the name of **Chewie4370**. She's got some awesome stories with canon pairings and some really interesting ones as well. Check her out!

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like to see what happens when they get all caught up.

* * *

Bella's just as nervous as I am: she's got her hair down so she can hide behind it and her index fingernail is in between her teeth. Those aren't the only reasons I know though. I know because she's wearing the black Northface jacket she wore last year, the first day she arrived at Forks High, and her favorite pair of faded blue jeans.

To anyone else it'd seem she was going for simplicity. But I know Bella – I've watched her for a long time – so I know she's going for comfort. And not just the physical comfort either, but the emotional kind. Her mom bought her that black jacket before she moved here because of the rain. A lot of other people have that jacket; it's completely nondescript. It makes her feel like she can just melt into the background.

I wish I could have told her it was pointless to think she could ever be invisible to me. Never the less, I let her wordlessly shrink into my passenger seat on our way over to Carlisle's.

We're both sitting in the backseat as Carlisle drives us up to Port Angeles now, though. His older brother Clay is home for whatever college holiday and is catching a ride. I couldn't have been happier that chivalry is almost dead; he called shotgun, leaving Bella to sit in the back with me. Carlisle has better manners than his brother and wanted to protest. I had silenced him with a glare.

I've never been more thankful for Carlisle's piece of shit car than I am today. It's small and the seatbelts in the back are screwed up. So much so, in fact, that in order to secure them, the belt for the middle seat has to tie them together, forcing the two people in the back to sit closely together.

Very closely together.

Like, arm hairs touching and knees bumping, closely together.

I watch Bella out of the corner of my eye a lot. I can't see her face, but she blushes randomly. I think she can see the goose bumps I get every time our arms brush – and I make sure our arms brush a lot. That's the beauty of an old car; the shocks aren't so good, which is cause for a lot of jostling when going over bumps or dips in the road.

I think Carlisle's onto me though; we hit every pothole along the way.

It's a good drive and it makes me feel bolder.

It takes just barely under an hour to get to The Port and only another fifteen minutes to get to Esme's house.

Carlisle and Clay jump out of the car once it's parked and head inside, but I linger in the backseat, untangling Bella and I from the seatbelt trap. It isn't complicated at all – just a simple knot – but it's right on her hip. I have to touch her thigh a lot to untie it.

So I touch her thigh a lot.

Then, I have to retract the sash from across her chest because the coiling mechanism is broken. That means I have to graze across her chest a lot.

So I make sure I do that part slowly and thoroughly.

I'm still slightly bent towards her when I finish and I decide to look at her. Her face is beet red and her back is flushed against the seat, hands held up as if she's being robbed.

She looks fucking cute with her huge eyes and slightly parted lips.

I want to laugh.

I want to kiss her.

I want to tell her she's beautiful.

I want to get back on the road so I can untangle and re-tangle all over again.

But I'm trying to play it cool so I just raise my eyebrows while looking into her eyes. "You cool?"

She exhales as she looks down and nods. Her breath is dizzying in its sweetness. "Yea, I'm good." Her voice is soft and melodic and I close my eyes for a second when I nod back to her. I think I hum a little bit too.

This girl is getting me so caught up, but I think I like the feeling.

We can't stay out here for too much longer. I open my eyes. She's staring into mine. I'm mesmerized by deep, deep brown.

She must have leaned forward when I wasn't looking; we're so much closer together now. I look at her lips. They're less than a foot away from my own. I'm contemplating closing the distance.

Would she turn me away?

Would she kiss me back?

Would we start making out?

Would she let my hands roam?

Would _her_ hands roam?

My dick aches at the last thought.

I want to close the distance so badly. I'm in a trance and her voice is the only thing that brings me out of it. "Um, w-we should probably, uh, get inside." I should have just kissed her. "Y-ya know, so they d-don't worry."

She's stuttering again. I wonder why she's embarrassed.

I nod and motion for her to step out of the car. It's a coup so I help her push the passenger seat forward so she can slip out of the door. It's also so I can look at her ass bent over and in my face. It's a good view.

Since we were invited I just open up the front door once we climb Esme's porch. We hear voices from the kitchen and find Carlisle and Esme sitting at the island counter. I don't see Clay anywhere. Seems no one noticed how long we took to get inside of the house.

Esme plays hostess and gets Bella and I each a bottle of lemonade before leading us down some stairs. "We were just going to watch a movie in the basement until the picnic." Carlisle's by her side, but she keeps looking over her shoulder to talk to us. "My brother's home from U-dub too, and I'm sure him and Clay and all of their friends will be taking over the living room soon." She rolls her eyes at the end, but she's smiling a little bit. "Older brothers can be so immature."

I don't have an older brother, but my older sister Rose can be a bitch sometimes so I just shrug.

We get to the bottom step and it's dark. Bella stumbles a little bit and I reach out, wrapping my arm around her to make sure she doesn't fall. It's so dark down here and her body is warm and soft.

I think Esme and Carlisle take advantage of the situation because when the light finally clicks on, both of their faces are flushed and Carlisle's smiling a little.

Esme smoothes the front of her shirt before looking up, cheeks pink, but I don't care.

She tells us we can pick whatever movie we want, but I don't care.

Carlisle picks a horror flick and pops it in, but I don't care.

Esme pulls him down beside her on the couch, but I don't care.

There's an empty couch on the side wall and I make my way to it because I care. I care about that empty couch because Bella and I are about to sit on it…and my arm is still around her waist; it's hard to concentrate on anything else with her so close to me, touching me.

I look down into her face once I've plopped down, practically bringing her into my lap as I sit. "This cool?" I hope she realizes I'm talking about more than the seats. There's no way I'm scooting farther away from her and my arm is very comfortable nestled above her hips.

She just nods. Her face is completely aflame.

Esme hits a bunch of buttons on a remote and the lights click off. We're bathed in darkness for a minute until the TV screen switches on. The light's dull enough that I can barely see Carlisle and Esme on the other side of the room. I look away when I realize they're already making out.

I face Bella, but her hair curtain is up. My hands are traitors; I push it back behind her ear. Her eyes snap to mine, but she doesn't look pissed.

"Sorry." But I'm really not sorry at all. I don't think she really cares anyway; she hasn't moved from my grip. I try to act bored while mentally doing a happy dance. It's tough.

We both focus on the movie, but I see nothing. Twenty minutes in and two people have died, Bella's cowering into my side with her fingernail in her mouth. Carlisle and Esme are still making out and it's making me antsy. I shift in my seat a lot.

Bella's trying to do her best to cover her ears, bite her nail, and shield her eyes all at the same time. I help out by bringing my hand from her waist up to her ear. It helps me out too because it presses her firmly into my chest.

She wraps her arms around my waist and buries her face into my chest, completely blocking out the movie. I smile since I know she can't see me.

She mumbles something into my chest, but the heat of her breath through my shirt distracts me from trying to decipher it. I whisper for her to repeat herself because I don't want to draw any attention from Esme and Carlisle.

"Is this okay?" She says it all breathy and trembling. She's looking up at me, her brown eyes to my blue.

I'm completely lost to her.

I've been trying so hard to not look like she's got me so caught up and it's all been for nothing. She owns me.

I want to protect her; shield her from everything.

I want to hug her and tell her everything's perfectly fine.

I want to call her for no reason and smile at her when I feel like it…

…which is all the time.

I feel kind of heavy and kind of light at the same time and my heart is beating like crazy. I wonder if she can feel it.

"Yea, it's cool." I don't know how to make her my girl, but I'm tired of not being with her. I'm tired of just watching. It's time for action.

So I kiss the top of her head and pull her closer. I look back at the screen just in case she's not happy about that move.

I think I feel her kiss my chest when her head nuzzles back into its place. It might just be wishful thinking though.

I smile until the movie ends and the lights flicker back on. Esme and Carlisle straighten out their clothing before Emse speaks. "Well," Her face is all splotchy and flushed. "We should get going."

Everyone nods and I nudge Bella with my shoulder before getting up. She looks up at me with her huge brown eyes while I stand. Her face is a little pink, but not the usual scarlet. I reach my hand out to help her off of the couch. She looks at it for a second, but then grabs it to hoist herself up. I don't let it go.

I hold her hand while we walk up the stairs.

I hold her hand in the car on the way to the picnic.

I hold her hand in line at the concessions stand.

I even hold her hand when I play the ring toss.

She never lets go either. I hope she realizes I want her to be my girl.

It's late when we finally decide to leave. Surprisingly it wasn't so bad – for a school function anyway. I'm a bit biased though.

As we exit East Bay High, I let go of her hand. She looks over at me but I keep my eyes forward. When I see her look down and take her bottom lip into her mouth, I swing my arm over her shoulders, pulling her into my side.

I look over in time to see her smile and I feel so much bolder now. I bend my head towards her ear and whisper to her. "The next time we go out like this? It's going to be just me and you." I'm keeping an eye trained up ahead; Carlisle and Esme are ahead of us and I don't want them to see me trying to make Bella my girl.

I chance a peek at her and she's blushing, deep red. I get kind of nervous until I realize she's chewing on her lip again; that's totally a good sign. "That cool?" I have to make sure though so I squeeze her shoulder a little bit.

She looks up at me and takes a deep breath. "Y-y-yea. T-that's, um." She closes her eyes and takes another deep breath before she huffs it out and looks back at me. She looks so determined. "It's totally cool."

I don't hide my smile this time. I feel on top of the world. I don't really think she's officially my girl yet, but this is progress.

I'm so happy I kiss her temple and pull her impossibly closer to me as we make our way back to the car. Esme spots our cuddly positions once we get back, but she keeps her thoughts to herself. Carlisle raises an eyebrow at me and nods, but I already knew he'd be cool with this.

The ride to Esme's is full of conversation about the day. I try my best to focus, but Bella has all of my attention; I can't concentrate when she's touching me and I make sure to be in constant contact with her. Thinking's overrated anyway.

Carlisle takes us home after saying goodnight to Esme. Clay reclaims the front seat and Bella falls asleep leaning into my side as I finger the ends of her hair. Bella's too tired so I don't mess around when it comes to disentangling us from the seatbelt. She only wakes up long enough to leave Carlisle's car and get into my passenger seat before she's knocked out again.

I bump fists with Carlisle and get on the road back to Bella's house. She looks fucking beautiful with the moonlight from the window illuminating her skin. I feel like a pussy for noticing that, but it doesn't make it any less true.

I pull up into her driveway and kill the engine. I watch her for a few more minutes then swipe a lock of hair behind her ear. My hand lingers a little bit, but I finally jostle her softly.

I speak as quietly as I can. "Hey Bella, time to go."

She looks a little startled when she wakes up, but quickly scans her surroundings. He eyes meet mine and she smiles a little bit while her face turns pink.

I try to hide my returning smile by facing forward and running my hand through my dirty blond locks. I'm sure it isn't working so I try to talk so she can't see the curve of my lips.

"So, I'll see you in school tomorrow?" I already know the answer, but I need her to know I'm not just talking about seeing her in passing. She needs to know that I want to see her outside of our regular classes together.

She nods and looks down at her hands. Her fingers are twisting together. I've never seen her do that before. I wonder why she's doing it.

"I had a nice time, um, t-thanks for…" Her voice is soft, her head still down and I realize I'm leaning over trying to hear her better. "Umm…"

"What's up?" I'm really close to her now and when she looks up, her eyes zero in on my lips.

She unclips her seatbelt and turns her body towards the door with her back facing me before speaking again. "Today was cool. I'll see you tomorrow." She opens the door and shifts one foot out before swiveling around and kissing me quickly, dashing to her house before I even have time to blink.

I feel light headed.

I snap out of it before she enters her house and call out her name. She turns around with bright red cheeks and questioning eyes.

"I'm picking you up for school tomorrow. Be ready by six thirty."

She fails at suppressing a smile and awkwardly half waves before going inside.

I smile the whole way home.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Did this make any sense? Was it everything you wanted it to be? There's some progress happening over here and me likey where it's going, do you? Expect to see some more of Clay... That's all I'm going to say about that.

Blue Review buttons tell it like it is and also get teasers! Have a good weekend, see you next Friday!

~Tay

P.s - My "Bathed In Black: Jacob Black" contest has a little over a week left before entries are closed. Head over to forthereluctantreader(dot)blogspot(dot)com to read the rules and the entries already posted. Voting starts on the 8th of February. Also, feel free to hit up my twitter **shantytown005**. I'm always talking mad shit on there.


	7. She's the brave one

_**Author's Note:**_ I recently got a beta (not for this story) and she let me know that the word is supposed to be 'Yeah' instead of 'Yea'. ('Yeah'= affirmation, while 'Yea' = yay!) and I had no idea. I don't feel like going back and fixing old chapters so from now on, I'll try to remember. Sorry for any confusion and thank you **coachlady1**. Basically, I updated this entire thing and then FFn decided that I took too long and logged me out, essentially erasing everything I had written. So, not only am I pissed, but I'm tired and it sucks.

The few things I had to say will be clipped now, but I hope they still reach their mark. Thank you to **acw1**, **mssmith**, **Chewie4370**, and **sinblackrose **for taking the time to constantly review my works. It means a lot to me and I am always so excited to see y'alls names in my inbox. I would also like to thank **nobodysgirl8 **for coming out of the lurkers shadows to leave me a lengthy and lovely review. You have no idea how much I appreciate the encouragement.

This chapter is about 3.2K and I'm pretty sure the following chapters will be just as long. At least, until the drama starts to happen. This story _won't_ have extreme angst, I promise. I'm actually a pretty hardcore WussPerv so there's no way I could write it since I can barely read it. Are you ready for some J/B one-on-one time? Yes? Well good, because here it is. Enjoy!

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do, however, own a Chihuahua named Isabella that I lovingly refer to as Isabella: Poo-Poo Princess.

* * *

The first week I pick Bella up for school is great. I'm a little nervous most of the time, but that's just because I want her to be my girl. She's smart, funny, and fucking beautiful as hell, and she lets _me_ pick her up. It makes me feel like a king.

I don't meet her outside of all of her classes or anything overly whipped like that, but I do save her a seat next to me in the classes we share. She always takes them while smiling shyly at me. It makes my chest tight every time she looks at me like that.

She comes over to sit with me and Carlisle during lunches too. She usually sits with the other Sex Sisters so I was surprised they didn't come over as well. Liam sits at my table and I knew he wouldn't mind if Kachiri started sitting there.

Kate had already claimed a place at our table. She's always glued to Garrett's side. I always save the seat next to her so Bella has a girl to sit with. I know Bella isn't overtly fond of Kate, but it's the best option: I'd rather have her sitting next to another girl than the fools I call my friends. I don't want her talking with them more them she talks to me.

We talk on the phone every night, but she's so shy. Sometimes we just sit and kind of listen to each other breathing. I feel like a pussy because of it, but not enough to stop. Some nights she reads while she's on the phone and she doesn't mind me playing video games to pass the time. We only ever end up talking around midnight. Then by two A.M. we yawn out good nights. Somehow we always have energy to do it all over again.

The first day I had picked her up she had worn a pink frilly top with some black tights. The top wasn't her usual style and it kind of caught me off guard. I didn't know what to think. I had never seen her in it before and I didn't know what it meant about her mood. She blushed a lot that day too. That shirt became my new favorite.

The rest of the week followed kind of like that; she wore clothes I had either rarely seen her in, or didn't even know she owned. It was really weird; made me feel off my game. By Thursday I felt like I really didn't know her as well as I thought I had so I had to put a stop to that. I went to bed that night with steeled resolve to get on with the next step to make her mine.

We had to go out on a date.

**!~AWWG~!**

It's Saturday and I'm sweating bullets. I have fifteen minutes before I have to pick up Bella. I told her on Friday at school that I was taking her out for dinner and a movie tonight. She blushed – as usual – and said she'd have to ask her dad. It had taken some begging on her part, but he had eventually relented, with one condition: I would have to meet him properly first.

That's the part I'm nervous as fuck about.

Tuesday and Wednesday night he had caught us on the phone past a decent hour and forced Bella to get to bed. I know he knows she was talking to me and that makes our impending meeting so much worse. I don't want him to think I'm corrupting his daughter or anything. I want him to remember that she's the purest of the Sex Sisters.

No, I don't want him to think I made up that ridiculous name. That's all I need: the word 'sex' to show up in any conversation I have with the chief of fucking police. I cringe at the thought.

I take a few deep breaths and decide to just head over to her place. If I'm meeting her dad, I sure as shit don't want to be late. I want to try my best to make a good impression so I'm wearing a pale blue, striped button-down shirt and stone wash jeans. If I wasn't so afraid of looking like a complete lame-ass during the actual date, I'd have worn slacks and my church shoes. My Sunday's best.

I walk up to Bella's front door when I arrive at her house. The door opens before I can even ring the doorbell.

The chief's staring me down and I don't know what to say. I don't want my voice to crack, but I don't want to sound like some old man taking his daughter out either. I shallow hard and speak.

"Hey Chief Swan, I'm Jasper Whitlock. I'm here to take Bella out." I thrust my hand into the space between us, trying for fuck all to keep eye contact. It's damn hard.

He scans me from head to toe. I'm sure it doesn't take long, but it feels like it. My hand is still outstretched and I think I can feel sweat dripping down the back of my neck.

A minute later, he finally puts me out of my misery. "Come 'on in Jasper. Bella'll be down in a minute." He shakes my hand sternly, but briefly and steps aside to let me enter.

I take some more deep breaths and follow the chief into the kitchen.

"You thirsty?" His body is obscured by the fridge door so I croak out a yes before clearing my throat. I think I hear him laugh. "Go ahead and take a seat."

I follow his instructions quickly, scraping the floor loudly as I pull a chair from the kitchen table. I wince at the shrill noise, but sit down. The chief makes his way over to me and sits a glass of soda on the table in front of me before opening a beer for himself.

I try not to look at his drink.

He takes a long pull and sighs as he settles into his seat. Then, his clear brown eyes pierce right through me. "You drink, Jasper?"

I am so fucked.

"Uh…" I trail off. I don't know what to say; I can't lie to the chief of fucking police!

His mustache twitches. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was trying not to laugh…

But that can't be possible.

"I may be an old man, but I ain't senile, yet." He takes a sip of his beer and I don't dare speak because, for one, I know he isn't done, and for two, I'm scared shitless. "I just want you to remember that while my daughter is with you, she's precious cargo. You wouldn't be reckless with your most prized possession, so don't drive drunk with mine, you hear me boy?"

It may be a question, but there's no doubt in my answer. "Yes sir, Chief Swan, sir."

His mustache twitches again. I swallow, hard.

He takes another sip of his beer just as I hear movement on the staircase. We both rise from the table, but the chief stills me before I make it towards the stairwell.

"I'm serious, Whitlock. Precious. Cargo." The words are on a breath, separate and distinct. I can only nod. He steps back from me. "And call me Charlie."

When he's around the corner I take a deep breath. I'm pretty sure it's a good sign to be able to call him by his first name. I'm going to call him chief anyway, but it's nice to know all the same.

I finally will myself to turn the corner and I'm floored.

Bella looks hot.

She usually looks beautiful, but tonight she looks entirely fuckable. Her hair is in big fat ringlets and curls all the way down to the top of her ass – which, I notice, is barely covered in this weird little shorts/jumpsuit/one piece thing. It's a deep midnight blue and kind of shiny, probably made of satin. It's sleeveless, but she is wearing a thin white cotton half sweater over the top. The buttons are fastened, but I've never been treated to so much exposed skin on her chest.

It's impossible not to be hard, especially when she blushes.

She ducks her head and I have to say something. "You look amazing." It's a whisper, but I know she hears it because her cheeks darken. It's the most honest thing I've ever said to her – or to anyone for that matter – but I don't care.

"Well, I'll leave y'all to it." Charlie clears his throat and disappears into the living room.

I hear the television click on so I focus on Bella. Her head is still down.

"Seriously." I want her to know it wasn't an empty compliment. She looks pretty and sexy and beautiful all at once. It's overwhelming.

"Thanks." Her voice is as soft as silk and as thick as honey.

I take her hand and lead her out to my car. I remember my training and help her into the passenger seat before closing the door.

The drive to The Port is mostly silent, but it's comfortable, like us: it's as easy as breathing. She tells me a little about her day with Sasha and Kachiri and I tell her about how whipped Carlisle is: we were supposed to hang out, but he and Esme have been inseparable lately.

"It's nice they want to spend time together," Bella tries to placate me. "You can tell they really love each other." Her eyes dash to mine before focusing on her hands in her lap.

I don't know what to make of her body language. I think she's nervous because she said the 'L' word, but it's nothing new. We're in high school; everyone thinks they're in love.

"Whatever." I shrug to let her know it's no big deal. I'm not really pissed at Carlisle, I just wish Bella and I hung out that much. I want to know her better, learn everything about her, especially after this week since she's completely confounded me.

We get to a small Italian restaurant. The food is good so we still don't talk much. I'm not afraid to talk to her, I'm just afraid she'll figure out how much I know about her. It's a cop-out excuse, but she's shy so I don't want to scare her away.

We get to the movie and I pick a chick-flick like I'm supposed to. I even make sure she doesn't get to pay for the popcorn, drink, and candy. Apparently she likes Raisinets. Fucking gross.

The whole night's really expensive and I think maybe I'll need to get a job. But honestly, there are other things on my mind at the moment like, what's the best way to get my arm around Bella's shoulders. Having an arm draped around a girl lets her know you want her to be your girl. I need Bella to realize this. She's been with me all week and I can't figure out what we are. I thought girls liked labels; I thought they were always trying to keep a guy locked down.

The movie theater is dark once we get settled. The movie's kind of funny, but mostly cutesy. I don't do the over played "fake yawn" thing, but I manage to get my arm around her under the guise of brushing nonexistent popcorn from her shoulder. She blushes and drops her head, but I only pull her closer. I'm not sure what to tell her to make her comfortable so I squeeze her a bit tighter and lean into her ear, keeping my eyes on the screen.

"This cool?" I rub her arm to make sure she knows what I'm talking about.

"D-d-definitely." It's a shaky whisper and her breath on my cheek surprises me so I look at her.

I'm instantly hypnotized. Her eyes are large and shining in the dark room. I can see a bit of the movie reflecting back to me. I notice for the first time that she has a little bit of make-up on; her eyelashes can't possibly be that thick or long.

She looks so fucking beautiful and I want to tell her, but that would make me look totally whipped. I settle for kissing her forehead instead of saying anything because they feel like the same gesture. I turn back to the movie feeling heat creep onto my face.

It catches me completely the fuck off guard when I feel her lips connect to my jaw. They're like the softest pillows coated in silk and I'm instantaneously hard as granite. I turn to her, resting my forehead against hers. My eyes are closed because I'm so fucking happy she wants to be my girl, but I'm pissed I didn't have the balls to just put myself out there.

She _kissed_ me.

_She_ kissed _me_!

This is the second – maybe third – fucking time!

Shy Bella Swan is brave and I'm a fucking pussy. It's totally unacceptable. I owe her something for that and I always make good on my promises.

I take another deep breath, probably my tenth of the night, and open my eyes. I'm better prepared for their hypnotic lure this time, but they aren't any less beautiful. She's looking right at me and I feel like she knows I want to say something. Our heads are still touching, meaning she's not pushing me away so I know I can do this.

I want to tell her she's beautiful.

I want to tell her she's gorgeous.

I want to tell her my heart stops every time she smiles.

I want to tell her she's a queen and she consumes my every thought.

I want to tell her so many things – some sappy, some totally fucking stupid – but I'm a guy and I have to be cool.

"You know you look hot as hell, right?"

The movie theater is too dark to see what color her blush is, but I know it's there. I make a quick decision and peck her lips before acting like it's no big deal and turning back to the screen. It's easier to act like it's no biggie, that way I can't see her face if she rejects me.

I feel a vibration from her body and peek at her. I think she just hummed because her eyes are closed and there's the smallest smile on her lips. I hope that's a good sign. It feels like a good sign since she's pressed so tightly against me.

I'm glad her eyes are closed so she can't see me lick her flavor from my lips. It's salty from the popcorn and sweet from the chocolate. It gives me a raging hard-on. I guess my dick likes the thought of her being my girl too.

I rub circles on her shoulder for the entirety of the movie. The harsh lights click on as the credits roll and I'm nervous. Now that there's light, will everything look different? I don't know if I should still touch her and now I have no excuse to get closer.

We make our way out of the movie and into the parking lot. I shove my hands in my pockets so I don't fiddle with my keys. I need to distract myself so I try to talk to Bella.

"So, you like the movie?" It's lame, but I'm too nervous to give a shit.

"Yeah, it was alright." I feel like an ass because that must mean she thought the movie was shit. She's smiling really big when I look at her though. It makes me smile too.

I angle my steps closer to her so our arms brush with every step we take. She catches me every time I peek over at her. I don't dwell on it though because that means she's looking at me too. She blushes and tilts her head down and I chuckle a little because she looks cute as hell. She smiles bigger so I know she's not mad.

I'm high on this night, her smiles and her boldness. It makes me want more, no matter the consequences. Determination overtakes me and I grab her hand when we reach my car. I open the door for her to help her inside. It doesn't get better than this.

On the drive back to her place, I keep her hand clasped in mine. The radio faintly playing is the only sound in the car. Bella alternates between looking ahead, out of her window, and at our clutched hands. It makes me feel like a king.

I remember my manners when I drop her off, walking to her side of the car and helping her out. It's just an excuse to touch her more. We walk to her front door and pause. Again, I'm nervous as fuck, but I've got to play it cool.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" My thumb rubs circles on the back of her hand. Her skin is soft and warm and intoxicating; she's got me so caught up.

"N-nothing, really." Her voice is small, barely above a whisper.

"So you'll call me?" I don't really have plans, but we'll figure something out.

She nods, but doesn't raise her eyes. She's being so shy, but I want to look at her. I use my free hand to tilt her chin up. Her eyes lock onto my lips. I think it's a good sign.

"Cool. Call me, then." I feel stupid for repeating myself, but I want to kiss her. I need that reassure before I do though.

She nods again, but this time she meets my eyes. Her porch light clicks on and we both jump back a bit. Clearly the chief's watching and wants us to hurry it up. I can't make myself let go of her hand though.

"Alright." I swoop in and kiss her lips for a quick second. It's just as short as, but so much better than the first two times because we're both expecting it. She kisses me back, I know it. It feels great; _she _feels great. And I'm high on the night anew.

"I'll catch up with you tonight too, if you want to call me." She probably thinks I'm being clingy as hell with all this talk of phone calls. It's embarrassing, especially since – even though I'm stepping away – I haven't let go of her hand yet.

I finally let go and it surprises me how lost I feel. I turn back to my car and jump in. I don't start it up until she goes inside, turning off the porch light a moment later.

I don't even make it out of her driveway before I'm smiling so big it hurts.

She had kissed me and I had kissed her. Bella Swan doesn't just share kisses. I know she's my girl now, and I'll make sure she and everyone else knows it too. I can't fucking wait until she calls me.

I break every traffic law to get home. I take a shower then sit on my bed with my cell phone in hand.

She calls at 11:07 instead of midnight. I hope it's a good sign.

.

.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Did you like the date? I'm a little nervous about it. I've been reading so many really incredible fics lately, and they've been so good it makes me not want to write anymore. Have you ever read anything that was too good like that? Send me some rec's, I read all the time.

How do you think Jasper feels? What about Bella? And just to clarify, I said you'd be seeing Clay again, but I can't tell you what that means. I will tell you though, that I don't like pairing SM's character's with my own. That said, sometimes I do things I don't like. But don't worry, Clay's not a threat. Are you confused yet? *maniacal laughter* Good.

Blue Review buttons give clear answers.

~Tay

P.s. - I felt like rec-ing something, so go read '**Green**' by **Bratty-Vamp**. It's a completed, all-human _kind of_ reversed Twilight. Bella's rich and popular, Edward's the owner of the red Chevy. Oh, and did I mention that his father, Carlisle, is the chief of police? *licks lips* Carlisle in a uniform = win. Edward saves money for college by working at his older friend Emmett's lawn care business. Bella's poolside fence needs a little de-weeding. Go check it out.


	8. I'm forgetful and lame

_**Author's Note:**_ Happy Friday, all! Thanks for the lovely reviews. I was pleasantly surprised by those who chose to write me nice, lengthy ones. I means so much that you are all taking such a liking to my story. I'm keeping this short this time, but I'll see you all down below.

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do, however, own a copy of each of her books, movies, and a _Scene It_ trivia game. I also own all the mistakes, for I have no beta for this story.

* * *

It's been a few weeks since our date and things have been going great. I walk Bella to all of her classes now and she gives me small kisses when I drop her off. She sits next to me in all of our shared classes and even in the lunch room. We walk through the halls with my arm draped over her shoulders and we talk every night. We don't go out on dates like the first one, but we hang out on the weekends.

I feel great; everything is easy and Bella is my girl.

…I'm pretty sure.

Although I haven't said anything about it, Bella isn't the type of girl to share kisses and she's been kissing me. She's my girl by default. I'll take what I can get.

It's the first Monday of October and everyone's excited about the Homecoming dance this weekend. I couldn't care less about it. I didn't even bother asking Bella if she wants to go. We "don't do dancing." There's no point in getting shot down since she wouldn't have fun anyway. Plus dressing up is lame.

There are flyers and posters all over the walls telling everyone to vote for Homecoming king and queen, as well as reminding the students what day is what for Spirit Week. It's all so very, very lame.

Bella rides into school today with Kachiri and Sasha. Today's supposed to be Wacky Tacky Day and everyone looks stupid. Well, everyone except Bella. She's got on a pink polka dot sweater over a blue vertical striped shirt. It's cooler outside today so she's wearing army green cargo pedal pushers and knee high socks with crazy looking unicorns on them. They're the weird toe-socked kind and it looks funny seeing the hearts and rainbows on her toes through her purple flip-flops.

Her friends are dressed up just as horrendously as she is, but I guess girls not only party in packs, they act like fools in packs too.

When Bella sees me watching her, she smiles. Sadly, it doesn't last long. I wonder what's upset her.

I look down at myself to see if I forgot anything, like pants. Confirming that I'm wearing jeans and my favorite The Strokes t-shirt, I wait for the girls to make their way over to me.

Kachiri and Sasha both lean in from either side of Bella and the three of them start whispering before breaking off and leaving us alone. As soon as Bella's close enough I hug her. I even kiss her lips quickly, but she still doesn't smile.

"What's up?" I try to keep my tone light, but I really want to know what's wrong. I finger the sleeve of her crazy sweater with a smile. "This looks ridiculous, you know." I laugh a little bit. Even in this stupid outfit, she looks fucking adorable.

She pulls her sleeve from me and wraps her arms around herself. "N-n-nothing. H-h-how are you?"

She's embarrassed again; she's stuttering. I think it happens a lot now because she's never been someone's girl before.

I just shrug in answer to her question. The day just started so there's nothing to really report.

I wrap my arm around her shoulders and start walking her to her first class. We're both silent, but that's nothing new. What _is_ new is that she's tugging and shifting her sweater. The material must feel weird.

I stop us once we get to her door. I usually kiss her before getting to my own class, but when I look at her face I realize something's not right.

"What's up?" Her hair is in off kilter pigtails. I tug one. I bite the corner of my mouth to stop a smile from getting too big: she's utterly ridiculous and utterly cute.

Her head is ducked down. "N-nothing."

I tilt her chin up, but she shifts her eyes away from mine. "Tell me." I make sure my voice is soft, persuasive. I want to know what's bothering her so I can fix it.

"It's nothing, r-really." I don't know what the subject is, but she changes it, looking straight into my eyes. "W-why didn't you dress up today?" Her eyes are huge and her pointer fingernail finds its way to her mouth. It immediately captures my attention.

I want to kiss those lips. And not just a peck either. I want to consume them. Maybe even bite them a little. The thought gets me kind of hard.

I try to focus, but can't take my eyes from her mouth. "Our football team sucks and Spirit Week is lame." It would _not_ be cool to walk around the school looking like a total idiot all day. The girls can dress up all they want, but guys aren't supposed to look so dumb. The only dudes who dressed up are the weird ones and I'm not weird.

The two minute warning bell rings. I'll have to figure out what's bothering her later. I kiss her quickly and stroll to class. I'm going to be late, but I'm not jogging down the hall. It would make me look stupid; no one should be eager to get to class.

I try to figure out what's got Bella upset during my next two classes. She seems really melancholy in the class we share before lunch and I don't know why. She barely talks. She also twirls her hair a lot. She looks totally cute. I try not to laugh at her. I fail most times.

At lunch everyone at our table talks about the Homecoming game and dance. I ignore them mostly. Our football team sucks and school spirit is a waste of time.

I see Kate talking to my girl, but Bella's head is down. She's not even really eating her food, just pushing the spaghetti from side to side. I really wish I knew what was up with her today.

Kate keeps talking to Bella, oblivious that she's not even paying attention. "So after the game Friday, we're all going to an after-party in La Push. Some people are camping out, or whatever, but I've got a hair appointment early Saturday morning and I will _not_ be caught dead looking like shit at the dance from sleeping on a beach all night." Kate scoffs and flicks her hair. I think I see Bella roll her eyes, but she doesn't look up.

Kate can't take a hint. "Besides, Garrett's parents are on some romantic trip for their anniversary, or whatever, so we'll have the whole house to ourselves." She gets all dreamy eyed before whispering in Garrett's ear.

I find myself gritting my teeth. Bella and I don't have the opportunity to have a house all to ourselves. Even if we did, we wouldn't do anything with it. I mean, we might kiss, but our kisses have always been chaste and close mouthed. I don't know how far she would be willing to go with me. Shit, I don't even know if she saving herself until marriage or something.

Fuck! I don't even know if she's really even my girl.

I drape my arm over the back of her chair. Her head tilts towards me slightly, but she doesn't make eye contact. I have a really bad feeling about something.

I bring my mouth close to her ear and whisper to her. "Tell me what's wrong." She just shakes her head so I continue. "Please? I know something's wrong. Tell me and I'll fix it." I draw back a bit and see that her eyes are screwed shut. "I promise you." I tug on one of her pigtails again, but I can't find it in me to laugh right now.

Bella takes a deep breath and looks at me. She looks so determined and it intimidates me a little. I draw my face back a bit more to let her know I'm taking her seriously.

"Are you going to the football game?" Only the teeth nibbling at the corner of her mouth give away that she's nervous. I don't know why she is though, it's a random question.

I shrug. Our football team sucks. I thought I already told her this. I tell her again, just so she's clear. "Why waste time watching them lose? Our team is a joke." I make sure to say the last part semi loudly because I know I'm not the only one who thinks this. Alec laughs from a few chairs down and I reach out to bump his fist. He pounds mine back like he's supposed to.

Bella releases her lower lip and goes back to pushing her food around. I don't get it and it makes me feel uneasy. I don't like it when she isn't smiling and something's telling me it's my fault.

I need to figure this out without letting her know how much it's bothering me; I don't want to look whipped. "Why? You want to go?" I make sure my voice sounds light, amused. Maybe if I'm smiling, she'll smile too.

She doesn't. She shrugs instead without looking up. I'm at a loss.

Kate leans over to try to get Bella's attention again. "So what color's your dress for the dance? Are you going to wear the school colors?"

What the fuck is she talking about?

Bella only shrugs, but she looks at Kate this time. I can't see Bella's facial expression, but it causes Kate to look up at me and start talking my ear off. "Are you guys going to match? I mean, you do realize Bella's a shoo in, right?"

Again, what the fuck is she talking about?

I narrow my eyes at the back of Bella's head, but she doesn't turn around. Kate speaks for her after sucking the back of her teeth and rolling her eyes at me. I'm liking her less and less. "For Miss Spirit, duh! It's between her and Becky, but Bella's got this."

I just stare blankly; I don't know what Miss Spirit is and I don't know who Becky is either.

I try to figure this out. "Who?"

Kate doesn't seem amused. "Becky! You know, Rebecca Black? She's at all the football games. The girl who makes all the schedule announcements?" She looks at me like I'm stupid. I don't like it.

"Whatever." She doesn't like my answer and turns back to Garrett. I rub Bella between her shoulder blades with the arm that's still slung over her chair, trying to communicate that whoever the fuck this Becky girl is, my girl's far better. Miss Spirit sounds like a lame-ass thing anyway. I mean, what would someone have to do to…

But my hand stills as I instantly remember:

My girl follows our piece of shit team.

My girl wears her Forks High sweatshirt with pride.

My girl is dressed is hearts and rainbows, unicorn toe-socks for Wacky Tacky Day.

My girl was nominated as Miss Spirit because my girl loves her school…

…and I've been laughing at her all day. I haven't even asked her to the fucking dance.

I'm an asshole.

I am so totally fucked and I don't know how to fix this. Then, I have another thought: Who the fuck is taking my girl to the dance? I didn't ask her and she was obviously still going to go.

I see red. I'll be damned if someone else gets to spend time with her.

After taking two deep breaths, I lean down close to her ear again. "Who _are_ you going with, anyway?" I'm surprised I sound as calm as I do.

Bella looks up with large shining eyes. The brown is beautiful as it shimmers. My anger melts away; I can't be mad if she's looking at me like this, as if she's going to cry.

"Wha-what?" Her lips are trembling. She shakes her head and clamps her eyes shut. "N-no one asked me."

I breathe a sigh of relief. No one asked her because everyone knows she's with me. Yes, I am a total asshole, but my train of thought quickly derails. I have failed in the worst way: my girl thinks nobody wants her because I didn't ask her to the dance. I have to fix this.

I tuck a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. "Well, are you going?"

Her eyes meet mine again and they're impossibly more watered down. I feel like if her lashes weren't so long, the tears would spill over.

"I d-don't know." She bites her lip. I know that means she's thinking about it.

"Well, what color's your dress?" I start tugging on one of her pigtails again; I can't keep my hands to myself, it's overwhelming.

"Um, I-I've got a gold dress." Her cheeks heat up before she continues. "And a navy shawl."

I laugh. "School colors?" Of course. "We're going to look so lame." I'll need a navy suit and a gold tie. I know the guys are going to bomb on me so badly, but I'm not heartless and this obviously means something to Bella, so I'll do it.

"Really? You'll go with me?" She sounds so surprised. I obviously need to step up to show her how much she means to me. I mean, doesn't she know she's great?

I choose my reply deliberately. "I don't do dancing." She doesn't smile. I don't think she remembers. I quickly continue. "But I'll come with you, you know, if you want me to." I say the last part really softly. I don't want anyone to hear me sound so uncertain. But I am, because she owns me. How can she not know?

Bella's smile makes everything alright, though. "Yeah, I'd like that."

I take a sip of soda to try to hold in a smile. "Cool."

I peek back at her after a moment and she's smiling down at her spaghetti with pink cheeks. I can't resist, I kiss her temple. "You're fucking cute."

Her face blushes scarlet and she looks at me through her lashes before ducking her head back down. "Thanks."

I pull her closer into my side; making our cafeteria chairs scrap the floor and everyone to look over at us. For once, I don't care so much; Bella's smiling and I made her do it. It makes me feel bold. "It's true." I take deep breath and murmur in her ear. "Not only do I have the cutest girl, but she's the future Miss Spirit."

I can't bring myself to look at her after saying it though and close my eyes to kiss her temple again.

"You really think I'll win?" Her voice sounds small, but hopeful.

I pull back to look into her eyes, blue to brown. She's beautiful; how could she not? "Yeah." I kiss her lips quickly. Sealed with a kiss.

Alec pipes up. "Get a room, Jasper! You and your girl are killing my appetite."

"Whatever." I fight to sound nonchalant. I stretch lazily and pull Bella closer still, whispering into her ear. "He's totally jealous."

She giggles and I feel lightheaded.

Surely she knows she's with me.

Surely she realizes I'd do anything to see her smile.

Surely.

.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Do you realize what seems to be happening? Jasper needs to pay closer attention, I think.

For those of you who review to get teasers: I have a roller derby bout this weekend and will be out of town. I usually reply to all reviews without hours of them posting (one of the perks of being a stay at home mother), but location will make that impossible. So, to ensure that I don't leave anyone out, I won't be replying to any reviews until Sunday-ish, Monday at the latest. But I will be replying once I'm home, I promise. I don't actually leave until Saturday, so I might get to some after posting, we'll see.

Blue Review buttons vote for not waiting until marriage.

~Tay

P.s - I want to recommend that you all read anything by **quothme**. She's no longer active on the site (I don't think), but all of her stories are amazing. _**Glitch **_and _**Type O Negative**_ are my personal favorites, but she has two others as well. They are all complete, too.

P.p.s. - The boy just got us a new computer! I'm super excited because the monitor is huge! The sad thing is, I have to redo chapter 9! Meaning, those teasers are going to be a little later than I thought. Sorry y'all! I promise that I'll send them once I write them.


	9. It's never too early

**_Author's Note_:** Firstly, I apologize for not getting the teasers out. As most of you know, I was out of town and the weekend is usually my writing time. Secondly, this chapter is shorter than the others because I had to leave it here. (you'll see why.) Thirdly, I'll have more time to write now that the contest I was hosting has officially come to an end and I won't have read all those entries anymore. Fourthly, the end. Enjoy.

~Tay

_**DISCLAIMER**_: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight and all things resembling Twilight. I do, however, own twin bruises on my left shoulder from knocking a girl over in roller derby this weekend. Totally worth it.

* * *

I was right; Bella and I had looked so stupid at the Homecoming dance. I hadn't found a navy colored tux in time, but I made it up to her by wearing our school colors in a stripped tie. I felt like an idiot. Her smile had made it worth it though...

...for the most part.

She won, as if there'd ever been any doubt, and she glowed for the remainder of the night.

She looked fucking beautiful in a gold dress with thin straps crisscrossing over her chest and back. It was more traditional too; long instead of the new shorter style everyone seemed to think wasn't slutty. Too bad they were wrong. She was confident, but modest; wearing four inch heels, but wrapping her exposed shoulders in a navy colored shawl.

"You look beautiful, Miss Spirit," I had whispered against her temple while swaying us slightly on the dance floor. It was true, so I didn't mind saying it. Plus, no one could hear us, so I didn't sound too much like a pussy. I had kissed her just below her ear then. Her scent was intoxicating. I felt like a king.

Funny how I never thought she'd actually be my queen. But there we were, dancing - kind of - and she was a vision.

She had blushed at my praise, but didn't say anything. Her smile was contagious and I had never had a better night.

**!~AWWG~!**

It's Sunday and I'm still high on last night. The weekend is usually boring for me. Most of my peers live for it, but I'd rather be at school; I just kind of sit around, doing nothing, wasting the days away until I can see Bella again. If I'm lucky, there's some party going on and I'll get to see her there. But if I don't, then I just consider it a total bust.

This weekend's different though. The dance was last night and I was able to spend time with Bella until her eleven o'clock curfew. I try avoiding her father at all costs so I got her home by ten-forty. It's bittersweet; wanting to spend time with her, but being happy to live another day without bullet holes.

It keeps getting harder to keep a distance though.

Bella was so great last night. Just thinking about how much she smiled makes me hard. Her cheeks were rosy and she had on just the faintest bit of make-up. Her eyelashes were long and dark, making her brown eyes shimmer with golden flakes. I feel like a pussy for admitting to myself that I noticed, but I did.

Every time I envision her staring up at me, biting the corner of her lip...or when she puts her finger close to her mouth - as if she's trying to break the habit of biting her nails - a flash of liquid heat rushes up and down my body. It's simultaneous over and underwhelming. I ended up jerking off a lot last night once I got home...

...which brings me to my current Sunday schedule. I usually play video games, but I can't help myself; my girl owns me. All I can do is sigh and head into the hall bathroom, thankful that now my sister, Rose, goes to college and doesn't have to share with me anymore.

I grab my cellphone and shove it into my sweatpants pocket. I don't know how long I'll be spanking it and sometimes Alec calls me to log onto XBox Live. It's a lame excuse, seeing as it's only ten in the morning, but there's a part of me that hopes my girl will call while I'm thinking of her. It makes me feel like a perv, but not enough to stop me from laying the phone on the countertop - so that I can see the screen - once I enter the bathroom.

I'm done fifteen minutes later when my phone vibrates. It's my girl. I barely tuck my dick back in my pants before I answer.

"Hey, what's up?" I think I sigh a little as I say it. I feel all sappy after last night. It was like a fairytale.

"Hey, Jasper." I can literally hear her blushing. "Nothing, just bored. What are you up to today?"

I pause with a deep inhale through my nose, only to huff out a sigh through my mouth. It makes it seem like I have tons to do when I really won't be doing shit. "I don't know, really. Just chillin' out." I walk out of the bathroom and make my way to my room. I flop backwards onto my bed with another sigh before speaking again. "Why? What're you getting in to?"

"Um, well...n-nothing, really. Uh, Ch-Charlie went fishing, for the day, and I'm just kind of here alone. For the day. So..." She trails off, but I'm alert. What's she saying?

Does she want me to come over?

What would I do once I got there?

What would _we_ do once I got there?

Does she realize all the things I'd want to do to her if we were really alone?

I don't think she does.

I try to sound bored. "For real?"

The other end of the line is silent for a moment before I hear her faintly. "Mmhmm." She's probably biting her fingernail again.

I fight hard to keep my voice from squeaking out. "When's he get back?"

"Not until close to ten, I think." Her voice is soft. Is she really inviting me over?

"You trying to chill?" I can't help how hopeful my voice sounds. Me and my girl haven't had an opportunity to just be alone together. Sure, we're been hanging out for a month, but it's mostly been at school or with other people. The only other time it was just her and me was for our date night, and that doesn't really count because we were surrounded by people. Plus, we hadn't really been _this_ together before, where I could just kiss her whenever I wanted.

I'm suddenly nervous as fuck. I don't know if I can handle being alone in the chief's house with his daughter and my dirty mind. I mean, it's not like I'm thinking she'll let me touch her.

But I really hope she does.

Bella's voice cuts through my inner scrambling. "Yeah. I mean..." Her voice gets softer. "...if you're not doing anything."

I'm not doing jack shit the whole day and I don't even give a fuck if I sound lame for saying so. This is too important to try to be nonchalant. "Nah, it's cool." Well, sort of.

I clear my suddenly dry throat. "What're you trying to get into?"

"Um..." She stalls for a short moment. "Y-y-you want to come hang out here?"

And there it is.

My girl wants me to come over.

And she's stuttering again. I know that means she's embarrassed, but I know enough now to know it also means she's nervous.

My girl wants me to come over.

My girl wants me to come over to her empty house.

My dick has never been harder. I palm it a bit to alleviate some pressure.

It has the opposite effect.

"Yeah that's cool." My voice sounds funny, even in my own ears. It's husky and lower than normal. It kind of freaks me out. I clear my throat. "What time you want me to come by?"

"Now's cool." She sounds a bit too loud. I hear her clear her throat too. "Or whenever..."

I want to dance around my room, squealing like a little girl. But I'm a guy and I need to play this cool. "Give me thirty."

We say goodbye and hang up. I realize I'm the only one home; I think my parents are at church, or something.

I smile really big and pump a fist in the air.

My girl wants me to come over.

And we'll be all alone.

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**A/N**: Yeah, I hope you liked it. I'd rather shorten it here, then to post off schedule. This is looking up from last chapter, but that's because I'm holding off on the drama. Honestly, I don't even know if I want to do it. Maybe I'll fluff this up and make a sequel to have all the bad shit happen... Maybe, maybe not.

Blue Review buttons are for winners

~Tay

P.s. - since I'm in a Rec-ing mood, I suggest everyone take the time to read **McFearless** by** TeamBella23**. *_CAUTION: THIS IS SLASH_!* But it is so fucking funny, I have to tell you all to read it. Do you follow me on twitter? Do you see all my sock avis and talk of things being "less gay"? This is where it comes from. Basically, Edward and Jasper have been best friends since they were kids. As next door neighbors, they've been through a lot of things together. Bella cheats on Edward and he gets shit-faced drunk. His buddy Jasper consoles him in a bro sort of way and they end up kissing...then making-out...then there's blow jobs... but they SWEAR they're not gay! It's hilarity and so true to boy fashion it makes me want to smack the screen. It's no-where-near complete, so you'll have to be chomping at the bit of updates like me!

Oh, and if you haven't guessed it yet, I'm an All-Human kind of girl.


	10. Pushing the limits

_**Author's Note:**_ Sorry for the delay in posting this. There are really bad winds here and the power kept cutting out all day. I was afraid I'd loose everything if I even turned on the computer so I let it sit for a few hours. Um, I hope this isn't too jumpy emotionally. The chapter, I mean. I have another roller derby game so my brain is mush and Jasper kept changing his mind every damn day I sat down to write. Anyway, I'll see you all next week, I guess. Enjoy.

~Tay

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, while I pwn all bitches who think they can get past me on a track.

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I arrive at her house and I'm exactly seventeen minutes late. I didn't leave my house until thirty-five minutes had passed. I didn't want to be early or exactly on time. It'd make me look too eager. Especially since I had no idea what she invited me over for.

Even though I hoped.

It was true, we had never actually spent _alone_ time together so I didn't really know what to expect. I was going to be on her territory; finally in her house, her _room_! I could only hope that I would keep it together.

I sigh before shutting off my car, nervous as fuck. Bella and I have talked for hours over the phone before, but this is different. There's something impersonal about a telephone conversation that makes you feel invincible. I wish I had that right now. I should have just told her I was busy.

No, that'd be stupid. She's my girl; I should be about to have a face to face conversation with her...no matter how much she intimidates me.

It's kind of funny; if Bella ever found out how stupid in the head I was over her, she'd probably die of embarrassment. Or she'd laugh and leave me. Neither of those options is truly appealing.

I walk up the porch steps and ring the doorbell. I wait, not hearing any movement from the inside of the house. I think I hear a sigh before I hear the click of the lock being unfastened.

I lose my breath as the door opens.

Bella looks beautiful. That's nothing new, though. What _is_ new is that she looks comfortable. But not just jeans and t-shirt comfortable - as if she needs to hide herself from me - she looks like she isn't afraid of me. She looks like her shyness is nonexistent.

Her hair is in a high, sloppy ponytail, the end of the bundle dragging against the bottoms of her shoulder blades. She's in a purple tank top and those mother-fucking-white shorts, too! And she's barefoot.

I don't know why her naked feet turn me on so much, but they do. She's without socks or shoes and suddenly I'm a foot pervert. Maybe it's just the uninterrupted expanse of exposed skin; I've never seen so much of her skin. It's debilitating.

I just want to touch it, touch her, everywhere. My brain is smog of sighs and mewls.

"Hey." The word's a breath and she smiles as she speaks it.

I'm melting inside. "Hey." The goofy grin on my face isn't easily reigned in, but I succeed...after a while.

Bella opens the door wider to let me in. Her house smells strange, but not bad. It's just different; a mix of her and leather and cookies. This is only the second time I've been here, but I was too nervous about our date to really pay attention the first time.

"Um...you want something to drink?" She's biting her nail, but she's looking at me so hopefully.

I can only nod dumbly in response. There are so many fantasies swirling through my head. Sunday's usually my jerk-off day and I'm pissed at myself for only getting one spank in before seeing her.

She disappears into the kitchen and I just stand there. I don't really know what to do. I know what I _want_ to do, but that's different, and crossing the line.

What I need are answers; answers to questions that involve my very hard cock and her beautiful fucking blush. I don't want to be a complete hooligan, but I can't think straight right now. Bella is beautiful and she's my girl, and she is amazing and wonderful and I want her to know it.

My feet are moving before my mind catches up. I want her so badly.

She's bent, half hidden by the fridge door once I enter the kitchen.

"Is lemonade okay? We're all out of coke." Her voice is loud; she didn't hear me come in.

I take a moment to look her over from this angle. Her ass is plump and just barely peeking out of the bottom of her shorts. Her tank top has risen a bit and I can see two small dimples at the base of her spine. Her hair is falling over one shoulder and I can see goosebumps from the temperature of the fridge on the other. My throat closes and I swallow to clear it. Twice.

"Lemonade's fine." I make sure my voice is soft; I don't want to scare her.

Bella jumps anyway, whipping her head around so fast that she smacks it against a condiments shelf.

"Fuck! Ow!" The sound of her cursing is enough to make me groan.

She palms her forehead with scrunched eyes as I come up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. I hug her to me tightly before removing her hand to inspect the damage. It's just a red whelp and I kiss it because I want to.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you." It's a half truth, but I don't care.

"It's fine." It's a whisper. I look into her eyes. She's staring at my lips.

I kiss her - hard.

My breath is panting out through my nose. My hands are clutching into her sides. I can feel her hip bones in my palms and I rub my hands across them. I feel bold and wanting and high as a fucking kite.

Bella sucks my bottom lip into her mouth and I feel like I'm exploding. My dick has never been harder and I groan out a sound between a sigh and a whine. She's everything and I can't stop myself.

I lick her top lip and my hands smooth over to her back, rubbing my hands across the hem of her tank top and the top of her shorts. I can feel skin peeking through. It's silky and warm and completely overwhelming. I really want to palm her ass, like in those movies where the guy picks up the girl by her ass cheeks. I've never done it before, but I know that the scenes of passion always escalate from there and I really, _really_ want this to escalate.

Bella's mouth peeks open a bit and I slip my tongue inside. This is new territory for us and it feels great. I'm pretty sure she feels the same because her arms are wrapped around my shoulders and her hands are messaging the back of my neck. Her light touches send shivers down my spine and I shudder, accidentally/on-purpose sliding a hand to each of her ass cheeks. I kneed them a little, just so she realizes they're there. I don't want to freak her out.

Our kissing makes me lightheaded. I guess Bella is too because she breaks away, turning her head to the side. I kiss the corner of her mouth, sliding open mouthed kisses down the edge of her jaw and to her neck.

I kiss and lick below her ear. The skin is soft.

"Jasper." It's a sigh.

I kiss and lick across her throat. The skin is soft.

"Jas-per." It's a breathy shudder.

I kiss and lick where her neck meets her shoulder. The skin is soft...

So I bite it a little.

"Jasper!" It's a gasp and she's pulling me closer. It feels so fucking good.

So fucking good.

Her hands are around my waist and her fingers dig into my back. I grind into her, pinning her against the counter. Her ass is still in my hands and I clutch at it some more. It's like a water balloon full of pudding...only it's sexy and not edible.

...even though I kind of want to bite it too. I hum a little at the thought.

My cock is hard and I'm rubbing it against her stomach. As much as I want to just hump her leg, I'm reserved. I don't want to freak her out and who knows when she'll make me stop. It's like, I have no idea why she's even acting like this. I don't know who this new Bella is, but I really like her. Like, a lot.

I can feel Bella kissing my neck as well. Then her teeth scrap from my Adam's Apple up to my jaw line. The noise that's comes from my throat sounds like a choking bear. It feels so fucking fantastic. I see white behind my eyes. My hips crush into hers brutally. I can't help myself. My body takes over and I do the movie thing: cupping her ass cheeks and hoisting her onto the counter. It puts my cock right up against her pussy and I can feel heat radiating from the apex of her thighs.

I feel like I'm going to come at any second.

I'm so turned on I'm delirious.

I clamp my eyes shut tight, stilling my hands and my body. My hips twitch involuntarily because I'm so close to coming it's embarrassing. I take some deep breaths and cradle my forehead onto Bella shoulders.

She's breathing deeply too, her hands motionless on my back. I move my hands to her hips, just so I'm not tempted to just say _fuck it_.

Bella shifts a little. I think she wants to get down now. The movement isn't helping my resolve.

"Just..." I don't know what to say. I'm fucking embarrassed that I almost lost my nut from kissing her. And I feel like an asshole all of a sudden because I don't want the first time I blow my load with Bella to be on her kitchen counter without so much as a five minute conversation happening. I don't even know how far she wants to take this; I don't even know if I'm pressuring her into this. "...just, _shit_! Just give me a minute." It comes out all harsh and she sighs beside my ear.

"Please." I whisper it because I feel like a dumbass. She must understand me because she strokes my back with her hands. It's slow and sweet and totally what I don't deserve. I might as well be a fucking raper, or rapist or whatever. I was pushing all up on her and she just let me. I'm a fucking animal. _Shit!_ She gets me so caught up.

I pull back after a few moments. "Sorry." I can't make myself look at her. I look at the stove next to me instead. "I just got a little..." I really don't even know what to say.

"It's okay. I got a little...crazy myself. Sorry." I don't know what the fuck she's apologizing about. I'm the one that practically tossed her around in a kitchen.

I look at her and she's staring right at me. Her eyes are bright and huge, her tank top is slightly askew, and her face is the color of a peach. And she's smiling at me.

Fucking smiling, right at me.

"What's gotten into you?" I don't mean to sound so accusatory so I try to fix it before her face can fall. "You're killing me here." I rub my dick across her for a split second so she knows what I mean. Plus, if I do it longer than that, this whole cooling off thing would have been for nothing.

She just shrugs and bites her lip, looking away from me for a second. She's smiling though so I know I didn't piss her off.

"So, what are you trying to get into today?" My thumbs stroke her hipbones as I ask. I'm all down for staying like this for a while, but I don't think I'd be able to stop.

Bella shrugs again. "I don't know. I was just trying to hang out, you know?" She looks down a bit. "I feel like I don't get to see you much." It's a little louder than a whisper. It makes me feel like a king.

"Whatever you want to do is cool with me." I kiss her forehead, but grip her hips at the same time. I feel like that's the best way to describe what's going on in my head; I'm down for what just happened and I'd do it again, but we can keep it light.

"You want to just...chill? Watch a movie or something?" I nod and take another deep breath. I can do chill...maybe.

Hopefully.

I easily help her down from the counter and I catch her shy, smiling glances. My heart leaps for a second. She looks all tousled and beautiful and she let me do that to her. She liked it, I can tell by her smile. I try hard to keep my face blank, only giving her the tightest of smiles. I can't let my girl know how much she completely owns me.

We head into her living room. I'm equal parts sad and glad we don't go to her bedroom.

"What do you want to watch?" She stands at the DVD rack against the TV stand and I plop down on her couch.

I run my hands through my hair and make a show of stretching out and sighing. "Whatever. It's up to you." Then I think about it for a minute. "None of that sappy shit though." I refuse to watch my girl cry.

She only nods without stopping her perusing. Eventually she picks something and sits next to me. She's close, but not close enough, so I pull her into my side, slightly draping her over my chest. I like having her this close to me. I think I hum a little. I think she does too.

The movies on for a while, but I'm not really watching it. I'm watching Bella out of the corner of my eye. I don't want thing's to get too out of control for her and I need some reassurance. I feel like a pussy for thinking it, but I need to make sure she doesn't think I'm some kind of fiend.

"So..." She looks at me as I start to speak, but I keep my eyes forward, only sneaking quick peeks at her face. "In the kitchen earlier...was that...cool?" I feel like an idiot and fight hard against a blush for my lack of eloquence, but I want to make sure she wasn't uncomfortable.

Bella turns cherry red, but keeps her gaze steadily on my face. "Yeah. I mean, it was intense, but...I guess I kind of missed you, is all." Her lips clamp shut and she turns back towards the movie quickly.

I wrestle like a prize fighter to keep my lips from curling up, but it's no use. My smile is undeniable. She gets totally caught up in me too. We're on the same level, I know it...

Kind of.

I know I'm going to sound like a pussy, but it's only her and me here so I speak my mind, for once. "I missed you too." I don't dare make eye contact though.

She snuggles closer to me. I feel her lips on my chest and I look down at the top of her head. I feel my heart tugging again and I realize that she's never been cruel to me once. Like, she's not a mean person and she always tells me what's on her mind. Maybe I shouldn't hold back so much. Obviously she wants to spend time with me so she must want to know me as much as I want to know her. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to act so bored. I mean, I always want to know exactly what she's think so maybe she wants the same.

I take a chance. "I wasn't...pushing it too far or anything, right? I mean, you didn't think it was...too much?" I'm terrified of her answer. I swallow.

Bella looks up at me. "Um, w-well we've...never done anything like that before, b-but..." She trails off and her eyes shut for a second. She clears her throat and looks at me. "I liked it."

"Yeah?" I need the reassureance. She blushes so I think she needs some too. "Me too. You have no idea." I rub my hand up and down her arm and she smiles, looking back at towards the screen.

...but now I can't shut up.

"So, you don't think we were pushing it. Like, we can do it again?"

She bites her lip - a good sign. I fist pump in my head.

Victory is so mine.

"Well, yeah, but-" I frown as she looks at me to continue. "-We might need to keep it low key. For now." The last part's so soft that I almost don't hear it. It's like hearing that you can have candy for breakfast...later. You know later's not coming anytime soon.

She's completely confusing the shit out of me.

"So you don't want to?"

Bella's voice shoots up an octave. "Oh, believe me, I want to!" She flames again at her outburst and brings her voice down. "I-I'm just um, I d-don't want stuff to get too fast...like, uh..." I think I hear her swear under her breath as she looks down. I can't hear her anymore so I tilt her chin up. Anything she has to say to me, I want to hear it.

"What's up?" I make my voice as soft as possible.

Her eyes are so large. I can see myself reflected in them. She bites her lip again and closes her eyes as she lets out a long, slow breath. Before she speaks, brown meets blue. "J-jasper." She clears her throat and breaths deeply again. "Jasper, I'm a virgin." Her eyes search mine and I know she knows that I already knew as much. "And I want to stay that way." Her eyes dart to her lap. "For now."

No matter how softly she said that shit, I fucking heard it. I have half an idea what it means, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Like I thought earlier, later's not any time soon.

I'm fucking dancing and singing on the inside though because she said it like she's thinking about me. I mean, like she's thinking about us doing it together. I want to do jumping jacks, I'm so pumped.

Even though I promised myself I'd speak my mind more with her, I think this is a time when I need to bring the boredom back. I want her to know that if she wants to wait, I'll wait too, that it's no big deal. She's my girl. Doesn't she know I'd do anything for her?

So, I shrug and kiss her forehead. "It's cool. I get it." And I mean it too, because she's fucking everything to me. I'm whipped to the core. If she's going to give me something like this, then I'm going to be as grateful as fucking possible. We can probably do other things.

"Yeah?" I can't believe how insecure she sounds. I need her to realize she's my queen.

"Yeah. It's up to you. It's a big deal, you know? And um, it's important, or whatever. So...yeah, it's cool." I shut up because I sound stupid.

Bella kisses me anyway, so I guess I did something right. "Thanks." She sounds so relieved it disarms me.

I end up blurting out whatever's on the tip of my tongue. "Anything for my girl." I kiss her temple to shut myself up.

She doesn't laugh at me though. Instead, she kisses my chest again and we watch the movie in silence. I have no idea what it was even called and I don't care.

I don't care about a goddammed thing other than the girl in my arms.

That realization scares the ever-living shit out of me, but that's okay with me.

For now.

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_**A/N:**_ *ducks head* no drama yet, but was it terrible? Bella still in character? How about Jasper? Idk, you tell me what you think. Blue Review buttons explain it all.

~Tay

Rec P.s. -**_ Puddle Jumping_** by **_107yearoldvirgin_** = awesome. Just do it!


	11. This shit is wild

**Author's Note:** Running late! Here's your update! Much love! (P.s - read my story with 1/2 screen, it doesn't look as thin)

~Tay

**DISCLAIMER**: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight. I own an O'Charley's prime rib. As delicious as O'Chuckie's is, Steph's clearly the winner.

* * *

The rest of the day with Bella is pretty mellow. There are a few light kisses, but nothing as extreme as what had happened earlier. I'm tempted more than once to push it further, but I know Bella. I know her well enough that it would be way too soon. And, like she had said, it's enough for now.

I'll have to extend my jerking off into Mondays though.

And that's exactly what I do this morning before school. I had woken up with a raging case of morning wood after a night of heavy dreams. Well, heavy fantasies. I'm surprised I didn't come in my sleep.

School is boring today, but I can't help but feel like Bella and I are closer. Our kisses between classes linger a little longer than usual and people start to notice. Well, at least Alec does. He makes it his mission to point it out during lunch while I sit at our usual table and Bella leaves for the lunch line.

"Looking awfully cuddly there, Whitlock." I don't like the tone of his voice, but I'm a pro at nonchalance.

I make sure to barely look at him when I answer. "Yep." I sigh as I say it and even pop the 'p', just to be a dick.

I look over at him just in time to see him mask a sneer. "She at least giving it up yet? I mean, I don't even know why you're wasting your time with one of the Sex Sisters, anyway. Everybody knows they aren't putting out."

I want his body bruised and broken.

"Why?" Carlisle is a saint. I feel him lightly punch my leg under the table, silently signaling me to pay attention because he's going to piss Alec off. "You getting blue balls over there or something? It's been a long time since I've seen you getting a hug, let alone some ass."

I smirk and agree with Carlisle easily. "Yeah. What's it been, like, six months since you've seen some tits?" Carlisle and I both snicker. I don't know whether the statements are true or not, but he can go fuck himself. He probably already is.

"Whatever." Alec looks into my eyes defiantly. "At least the next time I see some tits, I'll actually be able to touch them."

I see red.

No one - fucking no one - will bad mouth me, or my girl.

Carlisle tries to defuse the sudden tension with a scoff. "Yeah. Then you'll have to shell out a few hundred bucks to pay the nice lady." I'm surprised how condescending he sounds. It's fucking funny. Alec's obvious anger is even funnier and I laugh openly.

Bella arrives with a smile. "What's so funny?" She's oblivious and beautiful.

"Nothing, just bullshitting." I look over her tray of food, noticing she's got double of everything. "You get me a slice of pizza?"

She laughs and takes a seat next to me, her face full of mock indignation. "You know, if you wanted something to eat, you could have gotten it yourself." She even huffs at the end. Fucking adorable.

I drape an arm over her chair and scoot it closer. It scrapes the linoleum with an annoying screech. I hope Alec's ears bleed.

Bella sets the tray in the space between us, sliding over the slice of pepperoni pizza. I grab it and roughly chew off more than half of it in one bite. Bella giggles and wipes some grease off the corner of my lip while I make stupid faces at her with my mouth full. I realize we look cheesy and couplely as hell, but a part of me likes it.

It's mostly the part that wants Alec to go fuck himself.

Carlisle leans toward my other side and smiles at us. "Me and Esme are going out this weekend, you guys game?"

I look over at Bella with a raised eyebrow. "That cool?" If she wants to do something with them, I have no problem. Plus, it'll be nice to just hang out with her.

Bella nods as she chews her own pizza. "Yeah, that'd be great. Esme's really nice. What's the plan?"

"Well, her brother's home for fall break, or something. I think he's having a party. I have to drop Clay off there anyway, so we could do that." He looks between us and I look back at Bella.

"Sounds good to me. It's been a while since we've partied." Bella agrees easily with a nod and a smile. And just like that, we're going to be hanging out this weekend.

I squeeze her shoulders and kiss her temple before eating the rest of my lunch. When the bell rings to signal class, I toss our tray and walk her to her next classroom.

We pass Alec on the way out of the cafeteria. I tilt my chin slightly, calling a silent truce. He only curls his lip and turns away. Asshole.

I drop Bella off. Our kiss lingers. I even stroke her jaw with my hands because I love touching her.

I pull away before I can get too caught up. Bella's staring at me. Her eyes are so deep and beautiful, but her eyebrows are furrowed. "What's going on with you and Alec?"

I didn't even know she noticed. "Nothing. He's just being a bitch."

Bella winces at my tone. I just shrug my shoulders, trying to play it off. I don't want her to know what he was talking about. He's a prick for thinking he'd make me not want to be with her. I mean, it's not like she's never put out, right? We just kind of talked about it the other day. Sort of.

I focus back on Bella. "It's not a big deal, I promise."

She shuffles her feet and looks down, hiding her face from me. I coax her chin up with my finger. Her eyes are shining. "Hey? What's up?"

Her eyes dart to the side before she stares at a space just over my shoulder. "You don't really hang out with your friend's anymore."

I don't get what she's talking about. I mean, true, I haven't really chilled with anyone but her recently, but she's finally my girl. I've been waiting a long time to get to know her. Why would I want to _not_ be around her?

I shrug and stroke her jaw with a finger. "What're you talking about? We're going to Esme's with Carlisle this weekend, right? What, do you not want to go?" If she doesn't want to party with them, I'll find something else for us to do. I can think of more than a few things we could get into...

"No, I want to go." She finally looks into my eyes. "I just don't want to be the reason you and Alec aren't getting along. I mean, you guys have been friends forever, right? And I know Sasha and Kachiri want to hang sometimes, but-"

"But what?" I cut her off. I have no idea what's happening. Is she saying she'd rather hang out with her friends? Yes, I'm monopolizing her time. But I'm her boyfriend, that's my job. If she doesn't want to spend time with me then what's the fucking point?

I take a step back. It's not that I'm hurt or anything, just surprised...mostly. "If you want to chill with your friends then go ahead, it's not a big deal." Kind of.

Bella balks a bit, but steps closer. "That's not what I'm saying Jasper-"

"Right. It's whatever." She reaches for me, but I step back. I mean, what's the fucking point? "I'll catch you later."

What the fuck is going on?

What the fuck does she want from me?

Do I like her than she likes me?

Does she like hanging out with her friends more than she likes being with me?

Well fuck that. Fuck her.

I shove my hands deep in my pockets and stride down the hall. I don't look back though I hear her calling my name.

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**A/N: **I'm in a rush today, but I had a hand full of things to say. Clay's coming back. This is the start of the drama. We'll see how long it lasts. Hope it wasn't terrible. Blue Review Buttons kiss and make up.

~Tay

**Random Rec:** _Uncomfortable _by SavannahVee. It's slash and it's good.


	12. And sometimes we

_**Author's Note:**_ I'm all kinds of sorry for the late update! I was in Maryland for a roller derby event all weekend and didn't get to post. Excuses, excuses - I know - but I can't promise it won't happen again. Sorry y'all! My roller derby season is in full effect so I'll be in other states pretty much six out of seven weeks until September. I know that's stiff, but we only have five to seven chapters left in this. I'm working on them as much as possible so that this'll never happen again. Happy St. Patty's day (in a few days) ans hopefully I'll see you next Friday. If not, next Monday for sure. Maybe I'll have to change my posting day. Anyway, enjoy!

~Tay

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all things related to it. I just wanted Jasper. Sadly, he isn't mine either.

* * *

And the rest of my day is shit. I don't go meet Bella outside of her classes. I also try my damnedest not to look over at her in the classes we share.

I mean seriously, what the fuck is going on? One minute we're making plans to hang out this weekend, and then what? She realizes she'd rather spend time with the Sex Sisters? It doesn't make any sense and I don't even want to think about it anymore. I'm a motherfucking pro at nonchalance and I'll be damned if she knows she hurt me.

Yeah, she hurt my fucking feelings. I'm not a bitch for admitting it to myself either. Bella's my fucking girl, she's everything to me. How could I not be pissed?

The final bell rings and I hustle out of the building. I want to get as far from this fucking place as possible. I can't get into the parking lot fast enough.

"Jasper, wait up!" I should have known she'd track me down. Bella's running up behind me and I don't even know why I'm pretending I don't hear her. I can't deny her anything, doesn't she know that?

I stop, but don't turn. "What?" My small voice embarrasses me. I clear my throat. "What do you want?" That's better, even though I sound like an asshole.

She stops right behind me, but she's silent. I turn to face her, but look over her head. "Yes?" I drag out the word and make it sound like she's inconveniencing me. I mean, she kind of is, since I really don't want to do this.

I've got this bad feeling in my bones.

We're over; she's going to break up with me because she doesn't get to see her friends. And I'm being a dick because I can't fucking stop myself and she's going to break up with me.

How the fuck did this happen?

"Jasper. Just please, listen to me?" I look at her, right into her eyes. They're shining and sad and I did that to her. I'll feel like a dick if she cries, even if she breaks up with me. I never want to be the reason she's so sad.

And that's what I don't get: if she had an issue, why didn't she just tell me. We wouldn't be here right now, breaking up, if she had just told me!

"I'm listening." It's a half truth; I don't want to hear the words come from her mouth. They'll crush me, I know it. I'll look like a bitch, right here in the middle of the school parking lot, surrounded by students and cars, crying like a baby. Fuck! I can feel the burn in my throat and the sting in my eyes.

I swallow a few times.

"Look, Jasper, I just didn't want you to feel like you couldn't hang out with your friends." Bella's head dips down and I can see the droplets of tears darkening the blacktop as they hit.

I am such an asshole.

"I saw that you and Alec weren't talking anymore and it just felt like it was my fault. I mean, we _have_ been spending a lot of time together and I can't remember the last time you went out with just the guys..." She's rambling, but I'm listening. I feel tense all over, bracing myself for impact. I know the words are coming, I can feel it.

Will she lie?

Will she say it's not me, it's her?

Will she bring up the sex talk we had?

Is it because I didn't dress up for spirit week?

Is it because I made fun of her adorably stupid hair?

It could be anything. My mind is conjuring up every shitty boyfriend thing it can think of.

Did I not call her enough?

Did we not spend enough time together?

Am I pressuring her into things she doesn't want to do?

Did I not listen to her enough?

Is this really because I didn't get my own pizza for lunch? I know it's farfetched, but girls are fucking weird. I thought she was joking, but maybe she wasn't. Crazier things have happened I'm sure.

"...so all I was really trying to say was that you don't have to feel bad if you don't want to hang out with me all the time. I won't be upset if you wanted to spend a weekend with the guys instead of me-"

"What?" What the hell is she talking about? "Why wouldn't I want to hang out with you?" Is that really what she's thinking, that I feel obligated to hang with her?

I tilt her chin up. She has tears in her eyes and she's biting her lip. I know her well enough to know that she's thinking about it. Fuck! She really believes I'd rather chill with my boys than her?

"You're utterly ridiculous, you know that?" I chuckle a little. It's out of pure relief. She's fucking adorable. And here I was thinking she was going to break up with me and she's thinking she's not good enough for me to spend time with? Fucking ridiculous.

I stroke her jaw with my fingers, leaning closer. "I'd rather hang out with you anytime." And it's the truth. I kiss her to try to make her believe me. It's closed-mouthed, but powerful. I even grip the back of her neck and pull her closer.

It might also have to do with the fact that I'm so fucking relieved I could do a happy dance.

I finally pull back, but kiss her forehead before resting mine against it. "Why would you think that?" It's a whisper, but even I can hear the desperation in it. I never want her to think something like that.

Bella shrugs and wraps her arms around my waist, tucking her head under my chin to hide her face. "I don't know." She sighs, but I know she's not done talking so I stay silent, stoking her back under my palms. "I just feel like a lot of things are changing around me." She grips me a little tighter at the end. I have no idea what it means, but I don't really care.

My girl still wants me.

But I have to make sure.

I pull her from around me, tilting her chin up. She pouts a bit so I kiss her before speaking. "You still want to hang this weekend, right?" I wanted to sound unaffected, but my voice is still weak. I feel like a chump so I clear my throat and try again, with added boredom. "I mean, we can do whatever, but I'm trying to party. It's been a while."

Bella bites her lip, but nods. "Sure. We can get into whatever." She brushes a lock of hair out of her face before continuing, resecuring her arms around my waist. "Besides, I really do like Esme. She's really nice." Her smile is meek, but it's a smile nonetheless.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders. "Good." I don't really know what to say so I just stand there. I don't even notice when I first start to rock her gently back and forth. She hums into my shoulder and I try not to smile too much.

The parking lot empties quickly as everyone filters from the school and into their cars. I don't really care about who's watching enough to stop holding my girl. She's mine and I'll do whatever I goddamn please.

Maybe that's why other couples are all over each other. I didn't really understand it before, the constant public displays of affection; the hand holding, hardcore kissing, the goofy smiles. But maybe I get it now. It seems that I have to check myself to look nonchalant more and more when I'm around Bella. I constantly want to touch her or kiss her or smile as bright as the fucking sun. I don't really know how it happened, but at some point she became everything to me.

It scares me a little, but not enough to stop. There's a feeling in my chest and I don't know how to get it out. It's hard and warm and the pressure is immense. It wants to come out in the form of words, but there's no way in hell I'm letting them out. We've only been together a few weeks and already I feel like it's been a lifetime.

Maybe it's because I've watched her for so long...

I don't really know the answer to the millions of questions in my mind. Instead, I stroke my girl's back and kiss the top of her head.

"Let's get out of here." I breathe it into the top of her head, rubbing her back with a bit more pressure.

Bella hums and nods against my chest. "Let's."

I lead her to my car. I'll think about this feeling another day.

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A/N: This isn't as short as the previous chapter, but isn't as long as the ones before that. There wll be more length soon though, so don't worry. Reviews are great so leave the with me!

~Tay

P.s. - I was also being a stinker with posting because I spent two days reading **_If on a Winter's Night_** by **Touchstone67**. It's great and it's slash. All human (of course) and simply effin' brilliant! Sadly, it isn't completed yet so you'll have to wait for updates, like me.


	13. I've got a bad feeling

**Author's Note: Blah, blah, blah: Roller derby out of town excuses. Blah, blah, blah: FFn uploading fail. I won't bore you, but do take note that the every two weeks posting schedule looks like winning right now because I will be out of town pretty much every weekend for roller derby. Sorry. That said, I love you. Thanks for the reviews and for sticking this out with me. Now, time for drama!**

**~Tay**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all things related to Twilight. I own a recent derby victory on the track. 118-42 bitches!**

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It's Saturday and Esme's place is on point. There are so many fucking people here it's crazy. A lot of them are older, but they seem cool. Some of the guys are giving me and Carlisle stink face, but fuck them.

They're just jealous because the hottest girls here are with us and not them.

Knowing that they want to be me, a lowly high schooler, makes me feel like a king. The only down side is that I can't leave Bella alone for one fucking second. All eyes are on her and Esme, but they know this is Esme's house so they aren't fucking with her...too much. Her brother must have warned them.

I still haven't met Esme's brother and I haven't seen Clay since we dropped him off. He sprinted up the stairs as soon as we got here and hasn't been down since. We've only been here forty minutes or so, but with all the hungry eyes around it feels like a lifetime. Luckily I'm not driving so I can have a beer or two to take the edge off. I'd hate to be Carlisle though.

I look over at him while he sits on couch opposite me while we hang in the basement. For any other party, this room would be used by the potheads, but Esme put her foot down. Apparently she's got a soft spot for one of the couches and refuses to let it smell skunky.

I'd bet a bill it's the one her and Carlisle were making out on when they first got together.

There are a few people dancing around. Esme hooked up a projector to play a visualizer with the music pumping around us. She says it'll give the party more of a club feel. She's kind of right and it's only a matter of time before Esme's tugging on Bella's arm.

"Come on, Bella." I don't think I've ever heard Esme whine before. It's kind of funny. Especially since I know Bella will fall for it.

Bella folds her arms across her chest. "No way." She's trying to be stern. It's hilarious. "You know I don't dance."

"Oh, come on! It's not like anyone from your school is here." Esme has a point. I look around and realize I don't know a single person in here other than Carlisle. It makes me a little uneasy, but I brush off the insecurity quickly. "Besides, since you aren't spending the night to help me clean up in the morning, the least you can do it dance with me."

Bella's face pinks a bit before she bites her lip. Esme's almost got her. "Don't give me the guilt trip, you know I can't stay." Her eyes dart around at the end of her sentence. I've never seen her do that before and I think I know why, too.

"You're lying!" Esme calls her out before I can and Bella's blush confirms it. "You know good and well that you haven't even asked your dad if you can stay or not." She sighs really dramatically. "It's not a big deal. I guess I'll be fine cleaning by myself."

As if to make Esme's point clearer, a blonde in a black mini skirt trips in front of us as she walks by and spills the majority of her drink. She looks at the mess for a second before just dropping her cup and returning to get a new one.

I try my hardest not to laugh at Bella and Esme's obviously affronted faces.

Esme turns to Bella with a single raised eyebrow.

"Fine," Bella relents with a sigh. "I'll call my dad and stay to help." She's wearing a small smile by the end of her sentence.

Esme claps and squeals before pulling Bella out to the makeshift dance floor. I catch Carlisle's eye before we both brake out into laughter. Fucking girls.

It's almost a half hour later before I see Clay coming down into the basement. I've had about four drinks total for the night and my vision's getting a little fuzzy around the edges. There's a guy behind him. Although I've never seen him before, he's easily recognizable as Esme's brother - he has the same crazy caramel-ish, bronze-ish hair as hers, though his is short and sticking up everywhere. I think he's going for a just rolled out of bed look. Whatever. And if that wasn't enough, his eyes are a bright green giveaway as to their relation.

I can tell he's kind of a pretty boy, not only by the way he walks, but by the way all the girls seem to swarm around him and Clay as they make their way over to the makeshift bar. I look at Carlisle to see if he's watching these chicks trip over themselves just to get to these guys.

I raise my eyebrows. _Are you seeing this shit?_

Carlisle rolls his eyes really big_. I know, right_. He huffs. _Whatever._

I snort into my beer before taking a long pull. _Yeah, whatever_.

I stay on the couch, but scan the dance floor for Bella and Esme. I spot them easily. Esme's moving gracefully, trying to seduce Carlisle - I guess - while Bella's got her eyes closed, gyrating a little off beat and totally fucking adorably. Nudging Carlisle with my foot, I motion with my beer for him to look. He chuckles along with me.

Esme soon catches sight of her brother and jerks Bella over to the side. I guess she wants to introduce them. I get an uneasy feeling in base of my stomach. It must be from all the beer.

I look over at Carlisle again. "So, that's Esme's brother?" The music's too loud and I have to shout more than I want to.

Carlisle takes the hint moves down onto my couch. "Yeah, that him."

"What's his deal?" I look over at her brother again. He rakes a hand through his hair before shaking Bella's hand. I feel heat rise in my chest.

"I don't really know," Carlisle explains. "He isn't home much, but Esme's always talking about him. I guess they're pretty close." He shrugs.

I nod, watching as Esme wraps her brother in a tight hug. "What's he going to school for?" I don't really care about what he's study, but can't stop my curiosity. Something about him isn't sitting right with me.

Carlisle shrugs again. "Fuck if I know." He sighs and stretches his arms behind his head. "All I know is that him and Clay have some classes together and they're always hanging out."

"Hm," I nod and sip my beer again, never taking my eyes off of my girl. She's just standing there awkwardly, but hasn't looked my way yet.

"Why, what's up with you?" Carlisle's observant as always.

I try to act indifferent, shrugging and stretching out as I sigh really big. "Just making sure he's not some kind of creeper if Bella's going to be staying the night here, you know?"

I glance over at Carlisle, but he's staring right at me with raised eyebrows_. You worried about it?_ "You cool?"

Thinking, I look back at my girl. She finally catches my eye and blushes when she realizes I'm watching her, giving me a small smile before being drawn back to Esme.

I turn back to Carlisle. "Yeah, I'm good." I down the rest of my beer.

"Yo, Carlisle! Jasper!" Clays calls from across the room.

We both look up and make our way over to the gathering. There are tons of girls around as we brush past. As soon as I'm close enough, I tilt my chin up to Bella. She's only a foot or two away from me, but it's too far. She takes a few steps in my direction before rising on her tip-toes and kissing me softly on the lips. I snake my arm around her waist and she twists so her back is to my chest, sinking against me.

Esme sidles next to Carlisle and Clay starts making introductions. "I'm sure you've seen this little hooligan around." He lightly punches Carlisle in the shoulder. "With him dating your sister, and all."

Carlisle nods with a "Hey, man," and Esme's brother replies with a "Yeah, we've met."

His voice surprises me. I expected it to be kind of light and girly, one of those guys that thinks they're slick with the ladies. In reality, it's kind of deep and smooth, even a little rough. I notice some of the girls around us perk up a bit.

Clay continues on, breaking my concentration. "And this is Carlisle's best friend, Jasper. He's _Bella's_ boyfriend."

Something about the way he stresses Bella's name gets heat rising through my chest. It makes my hair prickle and suddenly I'm not so sure I want to meet this guy.

He sticks his hand out anyway. "Hey, man. I'm Edward." His green eyes flash and his grip is too tight for this to be a friendly greeting.

I squeeze his hand back just as tightly. "Jasper." When I finally let go, I kiss the top of Bella's head and smirk as she sighs, melting against my chest even more.

I tighten my hold on Bella, wrapping my other arm around her waist. My empty beer bottle clicks against her belt buckle and she notices.

"What me to get you another beer?" Bella tilts her head up towards me.

I peck her lips twice. "Sure. Thanks, babe." I've never called her that, but now seems like as good a time as any to stake a claim on what's mine.

She blushes, but doesn't complain before walking towards the beer. I take the time to notice what she's wearing - skin tight, dark wash jeans held up with a seatbelt belt buckle and a black halter top shirt that exposes her back and reveals the tiniest sliver of skin along her midriff.

My dick takes notice of how phenomenal her backside looks as she bends over to reach inside a cooler full of beer. I adjust myself as I look away, not wanting to pop a stiffy around mixed company, only to realize that I'm not the only one appreciating the view.

I barely notice that Clay is talking with Esme and Carlisle as I clear my throat to snap green eyes from my girlfriend's ass to my face.

I tilt my head to the side as I look at Edward. Watch yourself, man.

He ignores my silent threat as he glances at Bella's ass one more time before striking up conversation with me. "You and Bella been together long?"

I don't get where he's going, but I don't want to leave any doubt that she's with me. "Yeah, a couple months."

"So it isn't serious then." Half of his mouth turns up into a smirk and my body goes rigid all over. I see red.

I want to break every bone in his body.

I want to rip his face off.

I want to incinerate him.

I want to dance and sing as I string his entrails around a pyre.

I raise my eyebrows and we both take a step forward. A challenge. Our body language says the same thing:

_Bring it fucker._

Bella returns at the perfect moment, placing a beer in my extended hand. I guess I was ready to punch his fucking lights out.

"They're out of Miller, so I got you a Bud. Sorry." Bella bites her lip as she looks up at me from where she's re-snuggled against my chest, facing me this time. It's enough to break the trance.

"It's okay, baby." I make sure I say it clearly and loudly, but not too loud. I don't want Edward to know he's getting to me. And to make sure there's no mistaking that she's my girl, I kiss the tip of her nose and palm her ass in my free hand. "Bud's fine."

She giggles and wedges her face into my chest, sighing as she wraps her arms around my waist, squeezing tightly. I slowly rock her side to side and kiss the top of her head before looking up. Blazing green eyes meet mine.

Edward's stare is cold and I know that this is in no way over.

Suddenly, he smirks again. Keeping my stare, but turning towards our forgotten friends, he starts talking. "Yo, Clay. What time did you say it was?"

Clay pulls out his cell phone. "Shit!" He runs a hand through his blond hair, his blue eyes panicked. In this instant I realize how similar he and Carlisle look. "That's what we came down here for in the first place." Clay looks to his brother. "Mom wanted me to get you back in town before one A.M. and it's already a quarter passed." His phone vibrates in his hand as he speaks. "Fuck! That's her now. We gotta go man. We still have to make the drive back."

I look at Edward who has a salacious grin on his face and my heart stops.

Fuck, I have to go home.

Fuck, Bella's staying here.

Fuck, Edward _lives_ here!

This asshole is going to be here while my girl is here...

And I'm not.

Fuck!

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**A/N: **Yeah, throw them tomatoes at me! Did you really think I wouldn't put Edward in this? Seriously? Ha! Blue Review buttons send expletives my way!

~Tay

**Rec P.s**. - **Guarding Bella Swan** by **Coachlady1**. It's hilarious and snarky and complete! Rich Bella thinks her standoffish father, Charlie, hired the quiet and sexy Edward as her driver. Little does she know, someone's been kidnapping and ransoming millionaire's children. Charlie wants to keep his prized asset-Ummm I mean DAUGHTER- safe, so he hires Edward as her bodyguard. Two years and several deaths later the stakes are higher than ever. But what happens when Bella decides that Mr. Tall, Brooding, and Handsome needs to talk to her instead of ignoring her idle chitchat? And when the sparks fly in a new relationship, will the lovers be blinded into not taking notice of their dangerous surroundings? This is good, so go read it NOAW!


	14. Well, this is odd

_**Author's Note:**_ Sorry for the delay. I'll keep this short (my roller derby team is up 4 victories!) and just let you read. Big loves to **Chewie4370** for getting on my ass to update this. I really am sorry it took me so long, I just really haven't had the time. I hope this chapter makes you love me a little more. **The recap:** Jasper and Bella are at Esme's party. Enter Esme's "pretty boy" brother, all bronze hair and green eyes *gasp!* Jasper doesn't like the way Edward is looking at his girl, especially after Edward makes it obvious that he likes what he sees. Sadly, Jasper can't do much about it as he's reminded that it's past curfew and he has to go home while Bella stays overnight with her friend and the greened-eyed threat. Le sigh, what will Jasper do? Let's see!

~Tay

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ Stephenie Meyer owns everything related to Twilight. I own a dislocated knee cap and a bench seat until June. TOTALLY UNFAIR!

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I'm standing here inside foyer by the front door and all I can see is red. It's not even a mist or a twinge, its pure smog. I'm so fucking pissed off I can hardly contain myself. The party isn't even winding down yet, but Bella, Esme, Carlisle, and I are all saying our goodbyes as Clay and Edward bullshit a few feet away towards the stairwell. Clay's back is facing me so I have a clear view of Edward's face, and he's staring at me, smirking. The fucking prick.

I feel like I want to pummel him into the floor boards, straight through the foundation and right into the ground. My skin feels like it's alive. It's rolling and boiling and my hands are trembling damn near bad enough to shake my fingernails right off. I don't want to leave. I can't leave...

...but I have to. Fucking hell, I'm hating this.

Bella breaks through the red haze. "And you'll come with Carlisle tomorrow to pick me up?" Her hands are on my chest as her hips press into mine, her eyes staring up into my face. Although I haven't really seen her drinking, she must have had one or two - she would never be this bold without alcoholic assistance, right? But either way, it instantly calms me...for the most part.

I snake my arms around her waist to pull her closer, but Carlisle chimes in before I can answer. "Actually, I have to have a family brunch before we drive Clay back to school." He turns to face me with an apologetic shrug. "Hope you don't mind making the trip by yourself."

I shrug one shoulder right back. "It's cool man. I got it." I look back down at Bella. "When do you want me?" I place small kisses along her face and neck, hoping she picks up on the innuendo.

Bella's hands rake across my chest as she sighs softly. Her voice is a whisper that tickles my ear and sends shivers straight to my dick. We're standing so close together. "When's too early for you?"

"I'll be here whenever you want me." And it's the fucking truth. I swear I'd just camp out in the driveway all night if I had my own car with me.

I can't stop myself from kissing Bella a little bit more than what is considered socially appropriate. It's partly because I want her to know that she's my everything and that I'll be thinking about her while I'm gone, and it's partly because I want Edward to know the same thing. Whatever the more powerful driving force is, it still sucks when Clay smacks his hands together loudly to get everyone's attention and complains that his mother is calling again. I had forgotten that we were already late. Shit!

Our three friends -and the shithead - make their way to the front door for a final-final goodbye and I steal a few more moments alone in the foyer with Bella. Breaking my lips away from her with a sigh, I rest my forehead against hers. "Call me when you're close to being finished cleaning. I'll get here by the time you two are done." I stroke my palms along her back. I don't want to say goodbye.

She just gazes up at me like she has something else to say, but can't find the words. It makes me nervous so I ramble a bit to fill the silence. "And maybe since we're up here we can...I don't know, get some lunch? Maybe check out the scene in The Port. You know, since we're here. The movie theater isn't too far from here. We could do that too. You know, if you like, want to."

Bella's light chuckle and swift kiss shuts me up and I can't help but to sigh through my nose, long and low across her face with my eyes closed. I feel like such a moron. I have this barely concealed tension and don't even know what to do or say to her right now. It's like there are all these feelings inside of me -possession, protection, desire, fear, wanting, longing- and I don't know if I can let her know I feel them.

"Sorry." I offer lamely, quietly. I'm not quite sure if I'm apologizing for the rambling or if I feel bad about never knowing what the right thing to say is.

"Shh," Bella shushes me. "I'll miss you too." Something about the absolute certainty in her voice makes my chest feel tight and heavy, yet feather light. I have the urge to say something to her -spit out some more feelings in hopes that the pressure will cease- but I don't know if it's more rambling that wants to spew forth instead.

She kisses me again swiftly when a throat clearing interrupts our moment. I don't need to look up to know who it is. I kiss Bella's lips again anyway. I even go as far as to rest my head in the crook of her neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply and kissing that spot too as I pull her tighter to my body, wanting to be able to carry her around with me everywhere that I go. Yeah, I must be pretty drunk.

"Don't worry _Jazz_." I don't like the way the fucker says my name. "I'll keep an eye on your girl and make sure she gets back to you. Good as new. For the most part."

I'm one hundred percent sure he whispered the last part for only me to hear, but Bella's head whips around and her brow furrows, as if she isn't sure she heard him right.

"I'm sure you will." I barely mask my voice to sound unaffected by the dickhole's comment. It doesn't quite come off though because Bella looks back up at me with wide brown eyes, drowning me with unasked questions. I just close my eyes and shake my head slightly, kissing her troubles away lightly.

"Tomorrow." I direct at Bella. "Anytime." I raise my eyebrows as I extract myself from her. She isn't letting me go and it makes me smile. I even croak out a little laugh. And yeah, I kiss her again.

The car horn blares swiftly as I step through the door onto the front porch. Carlisle even flashes his high beams at me. I flick him off and make a slow procession downt he steps just to be an ass. Esme's slumped towards the driver's side window anyway; he can't be in that big of a hurry.

My insides are all torn up. I simultaneously hope it is and isn't the alcohol that's making me feel like this. I can't even describe it. It's so much worse than when I knew Bella had me all caught up. It's like, I feel stretched thin the further and further I get from her. Like, no matter how close she is, she isn't close enough. It's like I can't breath when she's near me, but I'm suffocating when she's too far. My head and stomach are in knots -deliciously torturous and agonizingly awful knots.

I don't even make it to the side of the car before I hear Bella call my name. I turn around just in time to catch her as she barrels into my arms.

"I miss you already." Her words are a breath of life, clearing my head and easing the pain in my stomach and chest.

I wrap her up tightly to me, rocking her slowly from side to side. She feels so good, so right. Suddenly, there's a lump in my throat and I need to clear it. It feels like a sigh, but it comes out as words.

"I love you." The sentiment wisps from my lips and I pull Bella closer as my head spins and my stomach bottoms out. I feel like I'm going to hurl. That can't be right. I couldn't have just said that. A part of me hopes she didn't hear, but there's another part too. I really don't know what that one wants. Well, I don't know what it wants until I feel Bella's arms tighten around me and her lips connect with the side of my neck.

"Love you too, Jasper." My tense muscles relax. I didn't even know how much I wanted her to say the words back. Now that she has though, it feels so goddamn right. "And I'll get to bed now." She pulls back to look over her shoulder before looking into my eyes. "It's late anyway and I want to get the cleaning done so we can go to that lunch, or whatever."

There's a small smile on her lips and her face is beet red. She's beautiful.

And she loves me. Bella loves me.

I kiss her again because she loves me.

I squeeze her tight because she loves me.

I smile as I sink into the back seat because she loves me.

I wave as we drive away because she loves me.

I blow a kiss out of the back window when I see Edward smirk as he closes the front door behind him and my girl. I can't find it in me to feel threaten by him. Bella is my every thing. She's shy and beautiful and fun and sweet and she loves me.

Carlisle keeps glancing at me in the rearview mirror on the drive home. I must look like an idiot. My cheeks are already hurting from smiling too much and it's only been twenty minutes.

"What?" I can't convince my voice to sound pissed off.

"So...you love her, huh?" I can see the mirth reflected within his eyes. I guess my declaration wasn't as quiet as I hoped. Fuck it, nothing can get me down at this point. Not even the snickers I hear coming from Clay in the front passenger seat.

I just shrug them off; they're just jealous. "What's not to love?" Now that I've said the 'L' word, it's all I can think about.

Carlisle just nods and gives me a break, returning his focus to the road. It's only the way Clay says "yeah" as he turns to stare out of the passenger side window that makes my stomach dip.

Yeah, she is beautiful, anyone can see that. Anyone who holds a conversation with her can tell she's intelligent and caring. There isn't a single thing about Bella that I don't like. I mean, as far as I know.

But what _do_ I really know about her? I know she loves her school, her friends, and even my friends. I know she loves her dad and to help others any way that she can. I know she's kind of clumsy and is easily embarrassed. I know she dresses exactly how she feels and I know that even if she doesn't like someone, she won't completely ignore them. I know she loves dresses, but doesn't wear them often and that she wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt. I know that she's ambitious and that she actually loves to learn. I know she's strong willed and - though it might take her a while to build the courage -she always speaks her mind. But is all of that enough? Are all of those random facts enough to determine whether you love someone?

"So is it mutual?" I look up to spot Carlisle peeking back at me through the rearview mirror again. I don't know how long I zoned out into my brain, but I'm thankful for the distraction. Everything had suddenly seemed so complicated.

Carlisle's question finally registers to me and I sigh before I answer. "Yeah. It is." And it's like a light bulb goes off because I not only answered his question, but I answered mine as well. It's definitely enough. "She loves me and I love her." And it's as simple as that.

The rest of the drive I bask in the glow of knowing I'm loved. It feels wonderful. I can't even get too upset when I get grounded for a week for breaking curfew. Screw it. Bella loves me.

I plop into my bed and peek at my cell phone for the time. There's a little icon on the screen notifying me to a text.

_I love you, Jasper. See you tomorrow._

_*heart* Bella_

I type out a reply and set my alarm, smiling as I drift off to sleep.

_I love you, too. I can't wait._

_:) Jasper_

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**_A/N:_** Soooooo, did I make up for disappearing? Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement. I got a jump in alerts these past few weeks, who's been rec'ing me out? If you spot me somewhere, lemme know. Also, there's a review of a series of mine, 'Marriage: In All Its Splendor' written by the awesome **CharliDenae **over at www(dot)thewritterscoffeeshop(dot)com/news(dot)php?readmore=565 **_ (and yes, that question mark is totally supposed to be there)_**. Read MIAIS if you love a bit of Jalice in your life and a lot of funny. There is also smutty love making in that one as well. Leave some love or hate and I'll catch you ladies in a few weeks, now that I'm all injured and whatnot. Blue review buttons ice swollen joints!

**_~Tay_**

**_Rec P.s. -__ 'In Your World' _**by** _solostintwilight _**is only 5 chapters in and totally owning my soul. Virgin Bella runs away from abusive boyfriend Jake. She finds herself seeking shelter in an Amish community with the Cullen family. She learns what love really is by helping and observing this simplistic little world and falls in love with it, amongst other things. I know what you're thinking, but yes, these are real Amish people and it is so effin' rad and well written! Bella is a deep and well developed character before the first chapter is even complete.

And if the Amish aren't your thing, check out**_ 'Hallett Hall'_** by _**jaxington**_. On the first night of college, Bella Swan drunkenly stumbles into Edward Cullen's dorm room by mistake. There friendship starts off rocky (and barely a friendship at all, especially when the fucking starts) and it takes six years and two disappearances by Bella herself to bring them together again. Will it be too late to bring the band of friends together again. Is Bella's needy yet flighty personality finally worn the close-knit family to sever all ties? I am fucking dying on this one. It's far more angsty than I like, but still hilarious. I'm pretty sure they have the most canon personality Alice and Emmett of any all-human story I've read in a long time.

~Tay


	15. Coming to terms

I've been gone a long time, but I'll try my best to stay up to date and finish this. Thanks for sticking around if you're still here, but I get it if it's been too long. Enjoy.

~Tay

**DISCLAIMER:** Steph owns all

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I expect my mind to race and twirl with all the new emotions revealed tonight, but it doesn't. I sleep like a baby, contented and happy. I suspect the alcohol has something to do with that, though.

When I wake up my parents try to ground me for coming in too late last night, but I remind them that I didn't drive and had no control over when the car left the party. They let it slide just this once.

It's a good thing too because there is no way they can stop me from going to get Bella when she calls. My stomach drops in urgency just thinking about her and why I need to get to her.

Time doesn't move fast enough. Alec calls me, but I don't pick up until the second time. He calls me a pussy when I tell him I have plans with Bella. I don't know what his problem is, so I just hang up like it doesn't suck that he's being a bitch.

I occupy my mind by trying to imagine ways to choke out Edward then have rough and tumble sex with Bella as the spoils of my victory. It's a little fucked up, but it's good masturbation material – which I use until my phone notifies me of a text from Bella around noon.

I speed the whole way to Esme's.

Hands shaking, I barely notice the sweat on my upper lip as I arrive in the driveway. My mind is running rampant. I'm not totally sure why I'm nervous, but I think it's because I'm not exactly sure what I'll find when I open that door to get Bella. I mean, I know we said we loved each other last night, but that was last night. And, who knows what that Edward guy did to try to get my girl after I was out of sight.

I slowly climb the stairs to the porch, a war waging within myself. I trust my girl, I really do, but what if she finally realized I'm not worth it. Don't girls want grand gestures when you tell them you love them? All I managed to do was drunkenly mumble it.

Shit! And it wasn't like I was really trying to say it, either. It just kind of slipped out. I'm such a fucking loser!

Bella probably confided in Edward after I left. I bet the fucker consoled her, too. He probably told her how college guys are better and –

The door swinging open ends my mental meltdown. Who knows how long I've been standing here poised and ready to knock, hand caught midair while my mind rebelled and gutted me. I smoothly relax my raised fist and run it though my hair. So she doesn't think I'm a spastic loser, or whatever.

"Jasper! You're here!" My girl's excited to see me and suddenly I feel stupid for ever doubting that. I scoop her up in a hug.

I even twirl her and shit because I can.

I hope Edward sees it.

"I love you, I missed you." I go ahead and get that out of the way. If I had thought about it and waited to say it I probably would have psyched myself out. Yeah, it's much better to just get it over with.

Bella smiles and ducks her head down to my chest, placing a lingering kiss there before looking into my eyes. Her arms are still around my neck and my hands have settled on her hips. It's comfortable, easy.

"I love you, too," she says, pecking at my lips gently.

"I missed you, too," she whispers as her hands rub along the tops of my shoulders and through the hair at the nape of my neck, calming and burning me simultaneously.

"I'm glad you're here. Edward is such an asshole." And that shit tenses me right the fuck up. I want to smash his face into oblivion. I want to break his body until he's unrecognizable.

"What the fuck did he do?" And I can't even bring myself to be pissed that I just dropped an 'F' bomb in front of Bella.

My face must be murderous because Bella tries to take a step back. I don't let her, of course, but it's obvious she's trying to get a read on me.

"N-nothing, really. He's just an asshole." Her eyes roll to the sky and it makes me smile how palpable her distaste for him is.

I still want to obliterate him, but at least I'll be smiling when I do it.

"But what did he do?" I have to ask because it'll drive me crazy. I need to know what happened when I wasn't here. It's not that I don't trust Bella; it's that I don't trust Edward. I saw enough of his actions at the party to know that he thinks he's God's gift to women and the other girls were eating that shit up. It was sickening. Especially considering that my whole nonchalant act is just a pee-wee league version of his entire attitude. And that doesn't sit well with me at all.

I grip Bella tighter.

She blows out a puff of annoyed air. "L-like I said, it was nothing…" But I can tell she's trying to convince herself as well – her stutter giving her away. Another gentle squeeze to her hips gets her talking again, though. "He was j-just…_saying_ things, and l-looking at me, I guess. I just–" Another huff. "I didn't like it. I could tell he was trying to make fun of me or something. But I don't get why…"

She looks at me and I'm at a loss. I mean, how do I tell her he was doing it to get to me? Maybe that's conceited sounding, but isn't that exactly what he was doing? I don't fucking know, but it made Bella uncomfortable enough to call him an asshole so that's reason enough for me to kick his ass.

"Where is he?" I try to make my voice sound calm, but even I don't believe me. I flick my head to get some of my blonde hair out of my face… and to make it seem like I don't give a shit.

Bella's face scrunches up like she knows what I'm thinking, but I hope not.

"He went with his friends to some important _thing_. Which was a total lie, though! They just didn't want to help us clean up the mess that _their_ friends made." She looks so ruffled and indignant. It's fucking cute. I nuzzle her hair to stop myself from smiling too big. "It took Esme and me all morning just to get the beer smell out of the basement."

As if summoned by her name, Esme peers out of the open doorway. I hadn't even noticed we were still on the front porch. Her orangey hair is everywhere and she looks just as flustered as Bella. I smile and nod to her as Bella turns around in my arms to face her.

"Did you get the last of the trash?"

Esme rubs at her hands and forearms, but nods. "Yeah, it's all hidden in the tree line on the side of the house. I'll get my friend Mark to bring his pickup and haul it away later. I can't believe it was so much!"

Bella nods in agreement, grimacing as she rubs her forearms as well. I guess it was heavy or something. I rub small circles at the base of her spine with my thumbs to help work out any tension.

And because I want to touch her.

Bella sags in appreciation and Esme eyes me with a wicked twinkle lighting her face. "So, loverboy, you two off to enjoy your day-date?"

It's a hard fought victory to keep my blush at bay, but I don't want to look like a pussy so I contain it.

I have to clear my throat a little, though. "Yeah, we're going to grab some lunch and a movie, maybe?" I squeeze Bella's waist and she turns around to face me in my arms. I can see remnants of her own blush fading from her cheeks. I arc an eyebrow to let her know that the final decision is up to her.

"Yeah, sounds great." I'm rewarded with a smile and my chest does that heavy-light thing again. It makes me want to tell her I love her some more.

"Well," Esme interrupts, "Everything here is all done and if you go eat now you should be able to catch a matinee time still."

Bella keeps looking at me as she bites her lip. I know her well enough now – I love her – so I know that means she's thinking about it. I wonder what's changed her mind. I hope I didn't do anything wrong in the last few seconds…

I decide to just ask. As pussy as it sounds, my heart can't take not knowing. "What's up?" I whisper it as I tilt my head, mentally begging her not to back out.

"I just…really need to take a shower." I sigh in relief. "I can't believe I'm touching you right now, I smell disgusting!" She looks horrified as she says the last part.

It's cute as shit.

I give her a once over for the first time. Her hair is in a high bun and she's in simple jeans and a tee. I don't see anything wrong with her outfit and it must show on my face.

"I've been wading through beer bottles and cigarette butts." She blows a few loose strands of hair from her face. "I'd rather be a little more…fresh."

Something about the way she says it makes my dick hard.

Maybe it's the way her eyes cut to the side.

Maybe it's the way her hands grip the front of my shirt a little tighter.

Maybe it's the way a faint pinking raises to her cheeks.

Maybe the fucking wind just blew weird. I have no fucking idea, but if she wants to freshen up for me, I won't complain.

My fingers twitch on her waist just thinking about it.

Esme must feel the sexual tension radiating out of me because she huffs. "Just come in and grab a shower, Bella. Jasper can watch TV, or something."

She opens the door wider and Bella kisses my cheek quickly before darting up the stairs, two at a time. I enter more slowly, trying not to be an emotional pussy when I walk through the foyer where we were so cuddly last night. Instead, when I see Esme eyeing me as she enters behind me, I clear my throat and walk through like it's nothing.

Because I'm a guy and that sentimental stuff is for girls.

I don't even make it to the couch before Esme starts in on me, though. I didn't even notice she was right next to me.

"So, Bella says you guys are in love."

I plop down in the center of the couch and kick my feet to the table top. I don't want to talk to her about this. Just because she's Carlisle's girl doesn't make us best friends. I exhale real loud and slow so she knows I'm annoyed.

Then, I change the subject.

"What's up with your brother?" I do my best to sound bored. I even search for the remote control in the couch cushions. I know it's rude to not even be looking at her while I'm talking to her, but I can't let her see how pissed off that guy makes me.

Esme moves to a chair across the room. She picks up the remote from an end table and tosses it my way. I barely catch it before it clonks me in the head. "What about him? He's my brother." Her shrug at the end makes her seem so indifferent. I don't have any choice but to drop the subject or I'll look too interested.

I stretch my arms along the back of the couch while I drop my head back, remote forgotten and body completely relaxed. Well, that's the look I'm going for anyway.

"So," Esme tries again. "You love Bella?"

I don't like her persistence. Why does she want to know about Bella and me, anyway? I mean, I guess girls are like that, though. She probably wants to know if I just said it because I was drinking or if I really meant that shit. I guess Esme and Bella have gotten really close over the past few weeks; I can see her wanting to look out for her new friend. Bella rarely talks to Kachiri or Sasha any more, anyway, since she's either with me or Esme. Not like the Sex Sisters were all that close in the first place, but still…

Of course, I fucking meant it.

But…

But what happens if I tell her how much I mean it? A part of me wants to tell everyone how much I love Bella, adore her. I've liked her for so long, fantasized about her being mine for so _fucking_ long. I've studied her and memorized her mannerisms and everything about her from why she'll never wear beige, to what it means when she wears a scarf. I mean, I've made a few mistakes; like, disregarding her school spirit and underestimating her perceptiveness, but that doesn't mean that I don't really know her…does it?

All of the doubts makes my head hurt so I just nod absently, scratching the back of my neck because it's suddenly hot in here.

Esme opens her mouth –probably to tell me I'm delusional and not in love – but quickly closes it when Bella scrambles to the top of the stairs, apparently after the world's quickest shower. Or, maybe I was sitting there thinking for too long?

I don't know, but what I do know is that Bella's hair's still all wet and moistening the shoulders of her deep blue tank-tunic-thing, making it look almost black. It has a metallic gold design on the front that kind of looks like a roaring lion's head, or something. She has on those skin tight black leggings that cut off mid-calf and some strappy golden sandals, too. Something about the outfit and the way she's smiling and how she's still all wet – like she couldn't fucking _wait_ to see me – has me hard as a rock.

Completely forgetting about Esme, I smile at Bella. It isn't too big, but big enough that she knows I'm glad she's mine. She comes down the stairs and it's hard to pretend that I don't want to jump up to greet her.

"So," Bella says it all breathless as she skips down the steps. "You ready to go?" She looks back and forth between me and Esme, eyes narrowing. I just shrug and sweep my arm out towards the front door. It makes me feel completely caught up, but I'm pretty much speechless. She just does that to me.

"Don't forget about your stuff." Esme has a good point and Bella goes loping up the steps to grab her overnight bag after a quick peek to my cheek.

Esme turns to me. "You didn't answer my question." She's persistent as hell and I want to be pissed off, but I can't.

Instead I just wheeze out an annoyed sigh and turn to face her fully. "Yep." I even pop the 'P' at the end, just to be a dick.

Instead of being aggravating with me she just smirks like she knows I'm just an act. I don't know whether to be pissed or relieved; it'd be nice to not have to front someone, even if it's just Carlisle's girl.

We stand in an awkward silence until Bella gets back down the stairs. I sling my arm over her shoulders as I lead her outside to my car. I even open the door for her so Esme doesn't think I'm a total asshole.

"Call me!" Esme yells from the still open front door. Bella waves in acknowledgement before I walk around and slip into the driver's side.

I put the car in reverse and half watch where I'm going and half look at Bella. "So, are you ready?"

Ready for the date?

Ready for me?

Ready for _us_?

She grabs up my hand from the shifter and puts it in her lap, clasping it in both of her hands. "Yeah, definitely." And she smiles so big that I think we'll be okay, at least for another day.

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